*WARNING! This post includes graphic descriptions of an absolutely disgusting lack of personal hygiene. Seriously. If you're a man, don't read this. If you're a woman, have a garbage can handy.*
Last night when after the kids were tucked in, Doug insisted I get out of bed and come watch a movie with him. I'm not entirely sure why he wanted my company. After arriving home from our Thanksgiving Feast around 7 p.m., I fell immediately into bed fully clothed. With every subsequent trip to the bathroom, (there were MANY) I watched in total apathy as my appearance deteriorated from bad to worse; my previously styled hair getting ever bigger and rattier and my applied-specially-for-the-holiday mascara creeping farther down under my eyes. I'm pretty congested thanks to allergies, but I'd wager my womanly pheromones were also ripening like a good cheese.
None-the-less, Doug demanded my presence and I was too weak to argue so down I went. After the movie, (21 with Kevin Spacey. Pretty entertaining but one or two fast-forwardable s-e-x scenes) I checked my e-mail, stared blankly into space for a bit, and then dragged my stinky, sorry, self back to bed at around midnight.
And there I stayed.
Until noon today.
When I got up for the first time in 12 hours to go to the bathroom, let's just say my visage hadn't improved any from the night before. The mascara that had started on my eye-lashes had reached my chin. The grease in my hair had weighed it down a bit, so it wasn't astronomically high, but it's rattiness had only increased.
And then there was my mouth. I vaguely remember Doug bringing me cereal at some point this morning along with the Advil I requested (to dull the throb of my left eardrum.) Well, I'm pretty sure there was an entire bite of Honey Bunches of Oats glued to the roof of my mouth indicating that I fell asleep mid-bite and couldn't be bothered to swallow.
Fortunately, my stomach had stopped acting like an active volcano and was no longer somersaulting tumultuously. This allowed me to stumble, on weak legs, into the shower/power washer*. Allowing me to leave the land of the dead and rejoin the land of the living.
The day has been improving steadily since then.
Good thing I didn't push publish because my day just took a rapid turn for the worse...
It's now 10 p.m.
After tucking the boys in tonight, I decided I'd procrastinated long enough. My sore throat and ear infection haven't cleared up on their own and I didn't want another night of crappy sleep. So I went across the street to urgent care.
Where I was clucked over and and finally given...
TWO SHOTS IN THE BUTT!!!
Yes, that's right.
I have an abscess in my left tonsil, an ear infection in my left ear, and strict orders to come back on Monday morning to see an ENT. Oh, and I need to get my tonsils out a.s.a.p.
Why aren't any of you Med School friends doing ENT??? WHY???? I NEED YOU!
Gotta go now. Doug made Hot Chocolate to console me.
Maybe this day isn't going to end badly after all...
See you tomorrow!
*We have so much water pressure that after my first shower here I felt like a battered woman. Emily tested-Kramer approved.