Nov 27, 2010

How It All Went Down...or Came Up

>>Insert picture of large frowny face here<<

9:55 p.m. - H's leave
10 p.m.  Max throws up.  We put him to bed upstairs on the bottom bunk so he doesn't have to leap from his bed if he needs to up-chuck again.

I wrote my blog post and then Doug and I went to bed about 11ish and watched our new favorite show "Modern Family" in bed on the lap top.
12:00 - Lights out.

12:20 a.m. Max runs to the bathroom and throws up again.
While we're up, I decide to puke too.  Just for fun.

I throw up again while we're up and then go downstairs to find the hidden Coke on the top shelf in the very back of the pantry.  Growing up, the only time we were allowed Coke was when we were yaking.  Did you know Coke Syrup is used to settle stomachs?  It is!  I gave some to Max and I and we all go back to bed again.  (Max says, "What's 'Coke'?  I don't like the sound...I don't like the sound....." He was too delirious to form a complete sentence.)

Everyone goes back to bed.  A few minutes later, Max is up heaving again.
Soon, Doug hears something downstairs and goes down to find Gabe passed out in a pile of yuck.  (He did get some in his bowl, though...!)

A few minutes go by (or hours?  or years?) and Sam decides to join the fun.  Doug goes down to find ick all over the bathroom and is thankful Sam made it to a hard floor.  But then discovers Sam started by the tree, marked his territory there, and then moved to the bathroom.

I camp on the floor by my bathroom and moan piteously.  (Dear Military Housing,  Get some freaking pad under the carpet!  It was like laying on bare concrete!)

At some point, Doug moves all the boys to the upstairs hallway outside the bathroom and just stops getting back in bed.
Max pukes about 30 times and starts yelling "I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" in-between each visit to the toilet.  Later, I hear Gabey yelling the same thing:  "I'M GOING TO DIE!!!"  (It was such an awesomely fun night.)

At some point I stop even trying to help and mostly just stay in my room moaning.  I do vaguely remember seeing Doug sitting up in the hall around 4 am looking at Black Friday sales on the lap top with three passed out boys close at hand.

Somehow, Gray and Doug are spared from the intestinal trauma.  (Although I wouldn't call what Doug went through last night being "spared" from anything.)

Today the boys have been locked in the house all day.  Doug says they've been playing the Wii until the controllers lose battery power, then they watch T.V. for awhile until they can play Wii again.  (It's probably been the best day of their collective lives.)

Doug has cleaned our carpet with a borrowed carpet cleaner and done approximately 87 loads of laundry.

I, personally opted for a different route to recovery.  I slept until 4.
Yes, 4 p.m. this evening.
Yes, I got up two hours ago.
Of course I've been nursing Gray whenever Doug brings him to me, but other then that, I've slept all day.

Sleeping is one of my special talents and I can sleep any of you under the table any day of the week.  (Not to brag or anything...I'm just really that good.)

And now that I've taken a shower, had an apple and some 7up, and written this blog post, I think I'll go back to bed!

Dear Doug;
You win "Husband and Father of the Year".
Your sleepy wife Emily

Dear Everyone Else,
I wouldn't wish last night on my worst enemies and I definitely hope all of our friends are spared!!!  If you're not, please blame the P's.  They started it.
Good luck and Goodnight!
Your favorite blogger Emily in Japan


Lyana said...

How could you be even funny writing about trowing up? It's a mystery to me...
I hope you gets some sleep tonight. And I hope Doug got some good shopping done online.

Roxanna said...

Famous Last Words:
"Well it's gonna go around anyway, I guess it's fine just have him wear a mask."

Don't forget, you were warned! I seem to remember the conversation going something like this:
R: Em, Sammy wants to play with Micheil but I wanted to check with you because Micheil threw up last night.
E: Uh oh.
R: He's been fine all day, but I'll let you make the call
E: Well it's gonna go around anyway, I guess it's fine just have him wear a mask.
R: I've gotta mask, okay I'll do that.

That said readers, who's to blame?

P.S. My kids only threw up collectively 11 times between the 5.

Linz said...

Awwww! I'm so sorry that you're sick! **sad face**

Michemily said...

Oh my word. That sounds horrible and I would have been saying, "I'm going to DIE!" just like your kids. Maybe you got all the sick out and you all will be healthy for a long time to come.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you read blogs that no matter how much you love the person or how much you enjoy that persons blog you just wish you had not read their blog....well I wish I had not read this blog but hope your all well soon


acte gratuit said...

Hey, just because I knowingly put my children in harms way, doesn't mean I still can't blame you Roxanna!

Dear Claudia,
So sorry! :)

LaLa said...


First of all, thank you SOOOOO much for not doing this when you were visiting me.

Second, sorry you've all been so sick. Get better soon.

Third, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let your kids play with kids who have been throwing up within a 36 hour period. NEVER. I thought I taught you better. Stomach flu is the most horrifically contagious thing ever. And horrible. Oh I hate throwing up and I hate children throwing up on my lovely, clean carpet. Once again, thanks for getting sick in Japan.

Finally, I miss Gray so much it hurts. Please bring him back. All I do is lay around all day so I might as well have a swaddled angel in my arms.

P.S. Next time lay out a path of beach towells. It's a lot easier to wash them than to clean the carpet.

Noelle said...

Dear Emily in japan, you poor poor people. I hope you have all recovered!

Roxanna said...

Yes, when you've put your kids in the house of plague after a fair warning, you do give up the right to blame anyone else! Own it, girl!

p.s. I am sorry you all suffered so :(

Anonymous said...

Em--sick last night and this morning: I blame you, the Ps, and teh fact that everytine I neglect the gym for long enough, I get sick.


acte gratuit said...

Dear Roxanna,
I'm sorry for throwing you under the proverbial bus! Can I pleeeease borrow your carpet cleaner now?

Dear Wes,
I'm sooooooooo sorry! I really REALLY hope you don't give it to your kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patricia Longjohns said...

Just came across your blog and going through random posts.

I wanted to say "yay!" for finding a kindred Olympic sleeper.