Jul 2, 2008

On The Road by Emily Kerouac

Well, we're here in WASHINGTON D.C. and I can't think of a better place to spend the 4th of July than in the Nation's Capitol! The only thing that could possibly make it better would be to have Doug here with us. (That's Captain Doug to you!) BUT, he's off learning to salute, march, stand in formation, and address everyone as "sir" or "ma'am". (See his blog post (written by me) for more details.)

So, how was the drive to D.C. you ask? Judge for yourself:

3:00 p.m. we leave the Miller’s house only 5 hours behind schedule. We always leave late so we weren't too upset about it. The Miller’s are our friends and ward members who were good enough to put us up for two nights in a row.

As we're leaving the Millers, Max starts his litany of questions:

Max: Dad, can we have the movie on?

Dad: No.

Max: Can we listen to Scripture Scouts then?

Dad: No.

Max: When can we turn on the movie, Dad?

Dad: Let’s wait until we’re on the freeway.

Max: Why?

Dad: Because it’s a long trip. We don’t need to start it right now.

Sam: Ahwha we on da fwee way yet?

Dad: Let’s play I Spy

Sam: I shhhpy wif my witto eye sum-ping wed.

Dad: is it James?

Sam: YEAH! It’s Games!

Me: is it Lightning?

Sam: YEAH! It’s Yightning too!

Max: Is it an Apple?

Sam: Yeah! It’s a wed appo, too!


later, we're playing 20 (to 2,000) questions. Doug is describing the Slip 'n Slide the boys were playing with at the Millers. After Max guesses wrong about 60 times, Sammy gets it:

Sam: Is it da fwip n’ fwide???


3:15: Doug lets Max turn on the movie. (Ahhh....peace!!!)

4:15. Someone forgot to use the bathroom before leaving the house!!! And it was me. (Whoops!) We stop at McD’s. We decide we may as well grab dinner to prevent another stop.

5:00: Back on the road in record time!

5:40: We pull over to the side of the road for a Sammy Potty Stop. The excessive luggage prevents Sam from standing and peeing directly out of the van. So Sam hops down onto the shoulder.

Doug: “Sammy, wait! Mom will help you.”

Mom hops out.

Sam pees all over mom’s foot and sandal. Darn that Daddy!


Baby wipes and bottled water are produced

5:43 trip continues.

6:23 Hit New York traffic, but it's not too bad.

6:38 Enter New Jersey

6:40 Pull over for Max to pee. I stay in my seat.

7:18 Pull over for another potty break. Sam doesn't bother to wait until the car is stopped. Paper towels and wipes are once again employed.

On and on until we arrive at Jenny's after 1 a.m. We have a special talent for prolonging all roadtrips by at least a few hours.

In other words, It's good to be here.

Too bad I have to drive to Florida in a few days.

With the boys.

But without Doug.

That should be fun!


FOX said...

See now there is where we are different. If I got pee on my foot I would just go with air dry! (Now the car... well that I would have cleaned up.)

Pee is clean you know!!! It has ammonia in it!

I am a lesser mom. I always bribed my kids to where diapers during road trips! Then I nixed all potty breaks!!!! (don't tell anyone!!)

FOX said...

The toucan has landed at 1 am on the marshmallow!!!

That is "blog anonymity" for I know who's house your at!!!

acte gratuit said...

If it's so clean, how come it stinks so bad???

And if I could get a Pull-up on Sam, you better believe I would. Unfortunately, he's NOT our most cooperative kid. Especially where clothing issues are concerned!!!

FOX said...

Did I totally offend you? (insert wicked laugh here.)

On a scientific note, from your friendly biologist, Pee smells a bit because of urea (another clean compound, although some weirdos put it in their shampoo) That is also where it gets its color, but mostly smells because of the amonia.

There is NO bacteria in urine unless you have a bladder infection.

Now on the subject of sammy! Since I have thrown sammy (naked) in my car before, I feel your pain. I still remember the look on Doug's face when I handed you guys a naked sammy during a winter snowy day!!!!

What was I to do!!!!

Naomi said...

You needed to pick up some hitchhikers to make this a true Kerouac experience.

Like you didn't have enough already...

Anonymous said...

Is DC your new home? I lived there for 5 years in the late 80s. Loved it.

Jenn said...

can't wait to hear about the drive to Florida!

acte gratuit said...

Chrissy; Of course you didn't offend me. You're incapable of giving offense because you're too nice, too guileless, and too apologetic.

Mona; and I would need to take some illegal drugs. But that doesn't sound so bad right about now...

L.C.; We're just here for a week to visit my sister. Then to Florida for a few weeks to visit my friend, then to JAPAN for three years! So no. We're not here permanently! :)