It's one a.m. and because I'm an idiot, I'm still awake. But it's a good thing I am, because if I'd gone to sleep at a reasonable hour I wouldn't have been able to
a) take Sam to the bathroom when he came stumbling out in a daze a few hours ago, or
b) hear Max madly yelling "I WANTED TO WATCH IT!!!" over and over in his sleep. So see? The crappy day I'll have tomorrow as a result of sleep deprivation will be WORTH IT! (Actually, I would have been able to do both of those things since both boys have taken to sleeping in my bed with me in Doug's absence. But que va.)
Speaking of kids, (weren't we at some point?) today when I was talking to Sam I said "You can go swimming in 7 minutes." To which he replied "But that will take hours and hours!!!" Only he said it in his high-pitched, r-less, th-less, l-less little voice which I LOVE but don't know how to translate into type! (As long as it's not coming at me as a whine. 'Cause then I hate it and want to duct tape his lips together. BUT I DON'T, CPS!) (Joe says he can't hear a word Sam says because it's above his hearing level. But the neighborhood dogs seem to hear it just fine!)
Speaking of Doug, (well we are now!) today he left for "mock deployment". This is (evidently) where they go camp out for a few days and do obstacle courses and pretend they're competing on Survivor! He was pretty excited to go until he called me tonight and mentioned a large thunder storm headed their way which dampened (pun intended) his enthusiasm a drop. (intended and even pre-meditated!)
Speaking of Doug's call, he wasn't supposed to call me tonight, but he did because HE GOT OUR PASSPORTS!!! Maybe you don't realize what great news this is.
That's because you don't know how the lady at the base Passport Office tried to ruin my life two weeks ago! Allow me to reminisce a moment...
Me: "Hi, I need to turn-in these passport applications..."
Lady: "I can't accept these. They need to be typed." (I still had writers cramp from filling out four, yes FOUR, applications just before entering that &#&*@! office! Plus also, I have excellent penmanship when I fill out applications...making it extra insulting!)
Me: "Uh, okay Jerk-face! blah blah blah."
Jerk-face: "What is your departure date?"
Me: "SAM AND MAX! KNOCK IT OFF!!! Um, probably August 1 or 2. My husband finishes COT on the 30th. You guys, just hang on! Sit still. No! SIT! SIT STILL AND BE QUIET!!!
Jerk-face: "OH! Oh no. These are taking 4-6 weeks to come back right now. You wont have them that soon."
Me: "Seriously you guys, stop it. Do you want a time out Max? Sammy SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW! Soooo...I'll have to fly to Japan by myself? Gabey, let go of the cords..."
Super Mean Jerk-face: "Yes. You should have started this process weeks ago!"
(Couldn't. Doug wasn't 'Active Duty' yet.)
Me: brain aneurysm.
That's when I kicked her in the shins and stormed out. Then came back with 2 dozen eggs and taught the Air Force a lesson!
Which is why our passports came TODAY and not four weeks from now!!!
VIOLENCE, PEOPLE! It's how things are done!
(Some of the above retelling may be slightly exaggerated/completely fabricated...)
Speaking of eggs, I think I'll make French Toast for breakfast. Or German Pancakes. Or Crepes! UMMMM....breeeeeeeakfaaaaaaaaast! Gotta go to bed!