Sammy Quote

"Mommy, I think you should have a fudge Popsicle so HE (pointing at Gray) can have a fudge Popsicle."

Sammy's birthday post coming soon.

Ah, Boys...

Haircuts courtesy of Doug. The tightwad! He made my baby grow up overnight!!!

Sammy: "Mommy. Yo behwy button wooks wike da gwoss end of a banana."

Translation: Mommy, your belly button looks like the gross end of a banana.

(Yes, we have issues with "l's" and "r's" awound heo.)

(And yes, my belly button does look like the gross end of a banana. I'd show you but...it's gross.)

Sammy: "Today was da BEST DAY EVO!"

Mommy: "Why?"

Sammy: "Because I got a TWOH-FEE!"

(Basketball ended for the boys today and they both got trophies, t-shirts, and end-of-season parties. BEST DAY EVER!!!)

(It's really hard trying to spell kid-speak foe-neh-ti-cally!)

(Yes, I know it's not spelled that way.)

BTW, two Saturday's ago, Sammers said the same thing ("best day evo!") as we were leaving the AIRPLANE MUSEUM (just off-base) with our good friends whom we will just call "The Much-Cooler-Than-You-Fighter-Pilot Family". And that despite the fact that he got lost for about 20 minutes by wandering OUT of the museum to look for us.) Ah, boys...

Speaking of boys, how's the Fruit-of-my-Womb you ask?

Well, he's been in the slow cooker for exactly 37 weeks now. Just three to go! And since the last three Dub-brothers came a week early, I expect this one to do the same, dangit!!! (He's head down and slightly engaged. And yes, he's still able to kick me in the throat. Yes, you wanted to know that.)

And no, he still doesn't have a name.

And yes, he has grossly distorted my previously extremely perfect belly button. (And by "previously", I mean previous to four pregnancies.)

And yes, his current residency/squatterage is causing excessive Acid Reflux driving me to a strict diet of cold cereal and PB&J sandwiches. (And spinach/fruit smoothies. He's fine with those. But no pasta, pizza, curry, anything cooked, or anything with any flavor or seasoning of any kind.)

And yes, I'm tired and cranky and sick of the dang wet weather and ready for SPRING ALREADY!!!

Doug? Doug is sick of catering to my every whim, my Tums breath, my having to sit straight up in the middle of the night to burp and/or waddle to the bathroom, and my complete apathy towards all things house-keeping/meal planning/cooking related.

(Though I'm sure he wont admit it for fear of my excessively hormonally imbalanced wrath.)

While I'm at it, let's just make this a complete for-posterity journal entry about all the boys!

Maxwell: Recently had to spend lunch with the principle after tripping a girl at recess. He says she told him to "trick her" but he misunderstood and thought she said "TRIP her". (He was just being compliant!!!) The jury is still out on whether or not we believe him. Regardless, he lost his hour of Wii on Friday 'cause it's not okay to trip even if you're asked to.

Aside from the occasional incidences like the one above, he seems to be doing pretty well this year. He's starting to actually like reading (not just being read to, which he's always loved.) and he can be very helpful around the house if he thinks it'll earn him a few extra minutes on afore mentioned Wii. (Which he's only allowed to play for an hour on Friday and two hours on Saturday. IF his chores are done.) He's cute. And he makes his own, and Sammy's, lunch every morning. For which I love him an extra lot.

Samuel: Has been caught wearing a collared shirt AND some NON-SWEAT PANTS of his own volition*!!! This is serious progress and cause for much secret rejoicing by his parents. (We can't acknowledge these things lest he stop doing them just to defy us.) He hates everything we ever have for dinner unless it's healthy pizza or healthy pancakes. But he's still cute and he throws fewer tantrums now that we have "special play time" with him everyday. (That's 5 minutes of child/Sammy-directed play--alone with a parent--no interruptions.)

His best friend is "Chipmunk" who lives a few doors down--they MUST play together daily or melt-downs occur. His girlfriend is Caroline (though she hasn't agreed to this) because, as Sam says, "Weo nice to each otho." (Payden is his only other friend in the world and he refuses to like anyone else. I'm sorry to all of you who thought you were his friend. He thinks you look funny, talk funny or smell funny. Sorry again.)

Gabriel: Already loves his baby brother. (Let's hope it lasts!) He likes to yank away all the layers of my highly restrictive and uncomfortable clothing until my belly is exposed and then he sits and talks to his baby bwah-yo...(whom he thinks we should name "baby bwah-yo".)...in baby voice. Which is pretty funny coming from an almost three year old who hasn't quiet mastered speaking himself.

As in: "Hi-Yo Bwah-Yo!! You come out now? You so coot! Tick-o, tick-o!!! Peek-a-boo!!!" ...said in a high, sing-song voice.

Gabey's best friend is Madeleine--who has cut her hair at least three times while under my obviously deficient supervision. They like to play "Doctor" but since most medical treatments are administered below the knee, I let it slide. (The other day Madeleine was giving Gabe his shots with a very large round Nerf gun. That would be quite the injection.) His best-frenemy

is Isaac. They alternate between sharing toys and playing together or fighting over toys and chasing each other.

And THAT is an update on our lives and my justification for blogging! (It's my journal! I'm doing it for the CHILDREN!!!)

It's 9 p.m. I'm being kicked in the throat. I'm going to go have some cold cereal now and then Doug and I will watch "Psych"!

The End.

*I looked this up just to make sure I'm using it right...and I AM!

A Few Little Things...

• Fae had to come home from her mission* to have surgery. (Discovered because of a trip to the hospital for Dengue fever.) She's having a large something-that-shouldn't-be-there removed from somewhere-inside-her on Monday. Details aren't important here, people. The important part is: MAJOR SURGERY! So...Pray please!

• I just posted a recipe for Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies on my recipe blog. You should check it out. If you're in to that. (www.gratuitousrecipes.blogspot.com) If you're not, I posted a recipe for Caramel Syrup--which is decidedly unhealthy--right before that one.

• Discussing the fact that "Veggie Tales" was on T.V. this morning, Sammy said "Yep! God just put it on dere!" ("there" as in, on TV, ...since it's Sunday today.)

• I'm now 35 weeks pregnant. In answer to your question(s): YES, I AM ready to pop. And as for how I feel??? GREAT (with child), large, cumbersome, ungainly, bloated, bruised, cranky, swollen, tired, slow, stretched, inhumanely battered, clumsy, sore, tired, uncomfortable, tired, uncomfortable, tired, and uncomfortable. And tired. Soooo...with that said...

• ...who wants to come be my un-paid nanny? We'll provide your food, lodging and travel adventures around Japan. Possibly even a plane ticket. Seriously. Please. I'M BEGGING!!! Our fave Rhode Island babysitter got a boyfriend so I don't think she's coming, darn her!

• We saw Avatar last night. It was cool enough I suppose. If you're in to that type of thing. For me personally, I get a little restless during multiple bloody, gorey battle scenes--(Just get back to the plot already!) and this movie had lots of bloody and gorey. That's why, for me, the most disturbing part of the whole night was when the movie ended, the lights came up, and a bunch of little kids filed out with their families. Like, REALLY LITTLE KIDS! Five, six, seven, and eight-year-olds! SERIOUSLY PARENTS! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??? THEY'RE TOO YOUNG!!! IT'S PG-13 AND THIRTEEN IS PROBABLY TOO YOUNG!!! YOUNG=IMPRESSIONABLE! VIOLENCE IN, VIOLENCE OUT!!! GET A FRAKKIN' CLUE!!! ...But that's just my mild-mannered opinion...

• LAST THING! I read something from one of my blog posts to Doug tonight. He said, "So...why do you think you can only be funny in writing?" And I said "I don't know!" And then I punched him in the crotch**. See what happens when people watch violent movies?!?

G'night!!!

*She and her husband John were serving a "Family History" service mission in the Dominican Republic. Because of Faezer's health, they wont be able to go back and complete all 18 months. But we're all just happy she's getting surgery back in the U.S. (No offense, D.R.)

And FYI: Yes, they felt the earthquake very strongly but were not adversely affected. But they did get to do some volunteer service to help the Haitians including taking volunteers and supplies to the border which were then picked up and delivered on the other side. (They weren't allowed to cross into Haiti.)

**I didn't really. This time. I just threatened. But he laughed so that proves I'm funny in real life too!!!

Overheard...

Playing Uno on the back porch...(a recent obsession.)

Thomas:  "It's not about winning.  It's about having fun."

Maxwell:  "No, it's about winning and having fun.  'Cause winning is fun!"

Notes from Church

"I know that this house of God is the word of wisdom!"  Thomas, age 6, in testimony meeting yesterday.

Doug: "Why did the Wise Men kneel down when they saw Jesus?"

Aubrey (age 5):  "Because it was low."


Doug:  "How can you get somebody a present without any money?"
Eva (age 5):  "With a CREDIT CARD!"

For Melissa

Melissa commented first when I asked for posting ideas so this is JUST FOR HER!!!

But before I fill her request, let me introduce everyone.  

Everyone, this is Melissa.  Melissa is from Southern California but is currently living in Rhode Island (which is where we met) but will be moving back to Southern California.   She is the wife of Chad and mom to adorable baby Grant.  (Chad was a co-resident of Doug's last year and is finishing up his last year of Peds residency this year.)   

Melissa is just a kick-bottom cool girl.  She's lots of fun to be around, and she appears to be the World's Greatest Mom to cutie-pie-Grant!

Melissa, this is everyone.  They're blog stalkers!  

Now that we're all introduced...

Without further ado, here is what Melissa requested: cute pictures of the kids and some Sammy quotes. 

It just so happens that I have some of BOTH! 

Here ya go!

Sammy quotes from 10/28/08

Sam: "Mom, when my pants awe on, dat means it’s time to go back upstais
and my pants awe on! Wets go!!!"Sam: "Mom, awe you nuts?"Sam: (with extreme exasperation in his voice!) "MOM! You can do betta den dat!!!" (I pulled up his undies for him, but accidentally left them a little twisted in back.)

And here are a few more cute pictures:

(Max has since lost his second bottom front tooth earning him a total of 600 yen.)

And here are some shots of Gabey in the raw.  He's had a bit of, let's call it sprinting bowel syndrome resulting in a terribly sore bottom resulting in...well, obviously...

Can't rain on his parade, though. 

If any of you have problems with the gratuitous nekkidness in this post, please forward your complaints to Melissa!

See you tomorrow!

Late Night Ramblings...

It's one a.m. and because I'm an idiot, I'm still awake. But it's a good thing I am, because if I'd gone to sleep at a reasonable hour I wouldn't have been able to
a) take Sam to the bathroom when he came stumbling out in a daze a few hours ago, or
b) hear Max madly yelling "I WANTED TO WATCH IT!!!" over and over in his sleep. So see? The crappy day I'll have tomorrow as a result of sleep deprivation will be WORTH IT! (Actually, I would have been able to do both of those things since both boys have taken to sleeping in my bed with me in Doug's absence. But que va.)

Speaking of kids, (weren't we at some point?) today when I was talking to Sam I said "You can go swimming in 7 minutes." To which he replied "But that will take hours and hours!!!" Only he said it in his high-pitched, r-less, th-less, l-less little voice which I LOVE but don't know how to translate into type! (As long as it's not coming at me as a whine. 'Cause then I hate it and want to duct tape his lips together. BUT I DON'T, CPS!) (Joe says he can't hear a word Sam says because it's above his hearing level. But the neighborhood dogs seem to hear it just fine!)

Speaking of Doug, (well we are now!) today he left for "mock deployment". This is (evidently) where they go camp out for a few days and do obstacle courses and pretend they're competing on Survivor! He was pretty excited to go until he called me tonight and mentioned a large thunder storm headed their way which dampened (pun intended) his enthusiasm a drop. (intended and even pre-meditated!)

Speaking of Doug's call, he wasn't supposed to call me tonight, but he did because HE GOT OUR PASSPORTS!!! Maybe you don't realize what great news this is.
That's because you don't know how the lady at the base Passport Office tried to ruin my life two weeks ago! Allow me to reminisce a moment...

Me: "Hi, I need to turn-in these passport applications..."
Lady: "I can't accept these. They need to be typed." (I still had writers cramp from filling out four, yes FOUR, applications just before entering that &#&*@! office! Plus also, I have excellent penmanship when I fill out applications...making it extra insulting!)
Me: "Uh, okay Jerk-face! blah blah blah."
Jerk-face: "What is your departure date?"
Me: "SAM AND MAX! KNOCK IT OFF!!! Um, probably August 1 or 2. My husband finishes COT on the 30th. You guys, just hang on! Sit still. No! SIT! SIT STILL AND BE QUIET!!!
Jerk-face: "OH! Oh no. These are taking 4-6 weeks to come back right now. You wont have them that soon."
Me: "Seriously you guys, stop it. Do you want a time out Max? Sammy SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW! Soooo...I'll have to fly to Japan by myself? Gabey, let go of the cords..."
Super Mean Jerk-face: "Yes. You should have started this process weeks ago!"
(Couldn't. Doug wasn't 'Active Duty' yet.)
Me: brain aneurysm.

That's when I kicked her in the shins and stormed out. Then came back with 2 dozen eggs and taught the Air Force a lesson!

Which is why our passports came TODAY and not four weeks from now!!!
VIOLENCE, PEOPLE! It's how things are done!

(Some of the above retelling may be slightly exaggerated/completely fabricated...)

Speaking of eggs, I think I'll make French Toast for breakfast. Or German Pancakes. Or Crepes! UMMMM....breeeeeeeakfaaaaaaaaast! Gotta go to bed!
GOODNIGHT!

The Men in My Life

Just a few of the things you're missing if you don't live with 4 boys!

Last night when Doug came home, he had a bouquet of flowers and the "Juno" soundtrack for me. Just because! And to think...all I had done for him was mock him on my blog! (He--obviously--hadn't read it yet.) Whoops! (See his rebuttal here.) I should mention that despite my mockery, I really do think he's the ideal husband. And I'm super lucky I tricked him into marrying me! (Long courtships are for suckers!)
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When we took our friends to the airport the other day, all the kids were sad to be leaving each other but Bella looked especially sad. Then, on the drive, I looked in the rear view mirror to see Max with his arm around her running his hand comfortingly over her hair. It was so cute and yet startlingly grown-up all at the same time. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
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Yesterday morning, Sam marched into my room proclaiming this:
S: You weewee wet me down, Mom!
Me: What Sam?
S: You weewee wet me down!!!
Me: I really let you down?
S: YEAH!
Me: Why? How did I let you down?
S: Cause I miss da M*'s!!! (Fake sobs.)
Me: Yeah. I miss the M*'s too.
(I love that Sammy-Boy!)
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Tomorrow Max has his "Kindergarten Celebration" at school. When he brought home the flyer he asked if I would be able to be there. I said, yes, of course, I would be there.
He replied (with slight hostility);
"Good! I didn't want to practice all those songs for nothing!!!"
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Gabe had his one year check-up a few days ago. (Yes, a month late! Lay off, alright?!?) He weighs 22'9" (25%), and is 30.75 inches long (75%).

Although he is still the cutest baby on the face of the planet, (sorry baby friends) he has recently started shrieking loudly if he doesn't get the toy he wants or if a big brother takes something from him. Not only that, but lately during diaper changes, he's been testing out some acrobatic feats worthy of Cirque du Soleil. He can twist out of my grasp in seconds which may or may not lead to me muttering potty words under my breath whilst swatting erratically at his retreating poop-covered bum. (Don't even try to defend him, Mom!)

This means we will shortly be changing his nickname from "Angel Baby" to "Senor Diablo" or something of the sort. Any suggestions? It has to be catchy!
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Last thing: I've been a little worried about Sam lately. He's very averse to change and we've got LOTS in our immediate future. So I've been trying to talk to him about Japan to prepare him and get him ready for the transition. But he's still not entirely 'with me' because whenever he gets upset he starts crying and yells; "and I NOT going to move to Disney Woad! Neva eva eva! It's too fa away and I hate it!"
Alright Sammy. I promise we'll never ever ever move to Disney World. But we will be in Florida for the month of July. I hope that's alright. And does this also mean Tokyo Disney is out?
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And one more last thing. You STILL have a chance to win homemade Snickerdoodles if you comment on yesterday's post and leave me some brilliant advice. The competition is stiff, but give it a try anyway. The contest will end on Sunday!
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the end.

Sammy's First Day of Preschool!

A few of my favorite Sammy quotes:

"But Mom! But why?" *my answer* "But NOOO!"

"Mom, we have a pwob-wum."

*dramatic sniffs* "I hab bad coughies! cough, cough!" *sniff sniff*

"I NOT ANGEL! I ShhAMMY BOY!!!"

Sammers

(On the way to the ward beach party. Stopped in the middle of a freeway exit.)

Sam peed on the shower curtain today. Actually, to be more accurate, he peed on the inside of the toilet, the outside of the toilet, and then onto the cloth curtain before aiming down into the toilet again. (And the last move was only because I was standing next to him and started yelling.) This is the same curtain I just barely put back up after its last pee encounter.

Why did he do this you may ask? (And I did)

"Because I wha my pee-pee's go UP!" (Because I want my pee-pee's to go up) he replies with a delighted little lift in his voice and spring in his step!

Later same day:

"Mommy, YOOK! I did my YETTOS!" as he points to the crayoned "letters" (read: scribbles) on my living room wall.

Oh Sammy-Boy! What would we do without you????? (Besides less laundry...?)