Words of Wisdom

This is another post about my mom. Sorry. I'm not a very fun blogger these days. Sucks to be you! But I promise this will be the last post about death for awhile! (maybe.)
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My mom died at 12:18 a.m. on March 21st, 2013.  We thought maybe she held out for 18 minutes because she wanted to die on the first day of spring.  (Sometimes you try to find solace and meaning in the meaningless when terrible things happen.)  Unfortunately, the first day of Spring last year came early.  It was March 20th.  Some weird calendar anomaly. She missed it by 18 minutes.

Also, I want to note that she did not die with a smile on her face, nor did she make a rainbow appear over her house the day she died. It was just a normal, stupid, ugly, cold, gray, Utah winter day. (Months before she died, I demanded she make a rainbow appear for me since she subjected me to the depressing song "I'll Build You a Rainbow" multiple times throughout my childhood. Alas, no rainbow.)

Her death was not pretty. It wasn't quick. It wasn't painless. It wasn't quiet or peaceful.  It wasn't easy on her. Or us. And it wasn't (at least for me) a spiritual experience.  It was just terrible. The days leading up to it?  Pretty terrible too.  Everything that came after?  Terrible.  I'm just going to go ahead and emphasize again that it sucked and we don't even say "suck" in our family.  (Okay, fine.  I do.)

FORTUNATELY, when I think of my mom, I don't (usually) think of her death.  Fortunately, I have many more pleasant things to remember her by.  Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the 'words of wisdom' she left implanted in my brain.  These are a few of her common sayings that come readily to mind:

"Everything looks brighter in the morning."
I spent many nights as a kid curled up in her bed crying my eyes out about the injustices of the world.  She would listen patiently, try to get me to calm down, and remind me that everything always looks brighter in the morning.  She was (usually) right.

"Waste not, want not"
Her parents lived through the depression and she absorbed their thrifty habits and fear of debt.  I remember her cleaning out jars of food with a spatula so as not to waste a drop.  She told us how her dad would add a little bit of water to the ketchup bottle to get all of it out.  And I don't think she ever threw away a butter wrapper (on the rare occasions we had real butter) without first scraping it off with a butter knife.  (Oh, and she always ate her sandwich crusts.  Gross.)

"QUIT CALLING ME FAE AND CALL ME MOM!!!"
Okay, this one doesn't actually fit into the "Words of Wisdom" category. I just heard it A LOT.  But I could never take her seriously, because she was always half-laughing while chastising me!  P.S.  My sister Jenny started calling her Fae in High School--I was just following her example.

"It takes two to fight"
She said this to me each and every time I tattled on Jenny. So I probably heard it 10,000 times.

"The cure for despair is action!"
She got this one from Dr. Laura, and repeated it to me often when I was a teenager. I firmly believe that SOMETIMES, the cure for despair is a nap.  Just my opinion though...

"I love you the most!"
When I was little she'd hold her fingers close together and say "I love you this much!" while slowly spreading them out until her arms were outstretched.  Then she'd give me a hug and let me know that she would always, ALWAYS love me the most.

"Say three nice things!!!"
My mom was a huge proponent of healthy self-esteem.  If she ever caught you insulting someone, she demanded you immediately say three nice things about the person "to repair the damage to their psyche".  (Brandon always avoided this consequence by muttering insults to me just under her hearing level.  She was pretty deaf...!)  She was such a great person.

{It makes me think of what I repeat to my kids:
"Quit being obnoxious!"
"Stop wrestling!"
"Quit being annoying!!!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY, BE QUIET!!!!!!"
Is this what I want them to hear when they think of me?  Absolutely not. Clearly, I have some work to do if I'm going to live up to her standard. }

I know there are a bunch more of her sayings that I'm forgetting, but these are some of the classics.
And there are things she didn't have to say that I just knew about her.  She had great faith and loved her Savior.  She was constantly serving people. And she loved, LOVED her kids and grandkids and husband more than anything.

Love you Mommy!  You're my idol and I miss you every day!

I need to go say three nice things to my boys now.

Gray's First Bath?

Grandma Fae always gets to do the honors of giving each of my babies their first bath.  (Usually before the cord falls off delaying the cord falling off an extra week or two.)

 Hey look!  It's Gray's first bath!

Okay, maybe he's had a FEW in Japan over the last 7 months, but really...

this is the one that counts!

And We Finally Made It...

To Carlsbad and to MY MOMMY!!!

A Few Little Things...

• Fae had to come home from her mission* to have surgery. (Discovered because of a trip to the hospital for Dengue fever.) She's having a large something-that-shouldn't-be-there removed from somewhere-inside-her on Monday. Details aren't important here, people. The important part is: MAJOR SURGERY! So...Pray please!

• I just posted a recipe for Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies on my recipe blog. You should check it out. If you're in to that. (www.gratuitousrecipes.blogspot.com) If you're not, I posted a recipe for Caramel Syrup--which is decidedly unhealthy--right before that one.

• Discussing the fact that "Veggie Tales" was on T.V. this morning, Sammy said "Yep! God just put it on dere!" ("there" as in, on TV, ...since it's Sunday today.)

• I'm now 35 weeks pregnant. In answer to your question(s): YES, I AM ready to pop. And as for how I feel??? GREAT (with child), large, cumbersome, ungainly, bloated, bruised, cranky, swollen, tired, slow, stretched, inhumanely battered, clumsy, sore, tired, uncomfortable, tired, uncomfortable, tired, and uncomfortable. And tired. Soooo...with that said...

• ...who wants to come be my un-paid nanny? We'll provide your food, lodging and travel adventures around Japan. Possibly even a plane ticket. Seriously. Please. I'M BEGGING!!! Our fave Rhode Island babysitter got a boyfriend so I don't think she's coming, darn her!

• We saw Avatar last night. It was cool enough I suppose. If you're in to that type of thing. For me personally, I get a little restless during multiple bloody, gorey battle scenes--(Just get back to the plot already!) and this movie had lots of bloody and gorey. That's why, for me, the most disturbing part of the whole night was when the movie ended, the lights came up, and a bunch of little kids filed out with their families. Like, REALLY LITTLE KIDS! Five, six, seven, and eight-year-olds! SERIOUSLY PARENTS! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??? THEY'RE TOO YOUNG!!! IT'S PG-13 AND THIRTEEN IS PROBABLY TOO YOUNG!!! YOUNG=IMPRESSIONABLE! VIOLENCE IN, VIOLENCE OUT!!! GET A FRAKKIN' CLUE!!! ...But that's just my mild-mannered opinion...

• LAST THING! I read something from one of my blog posts to Doug tonight. He said, "So...why do you think you can only be funny in writing?" And I said "I don't know!" And then I punched him in the crotch**. See what happens when people watch violent movies?!?

G'night!!!

*She and her husband John were serving a "Family History" service mission in the Dominican Republic. Because of Faezer's health, they wont be able to go back and complete all 18 months. But we're all just happy she's getting surgery back in the U.S. (No offense, D.R.)

And FYI: Yes, they felt the earthquake very strongly but were not adversely affected. But they did get to do some volunteer service to help the Haitians including taking volunteers and supplies to the border which were then picked up and delivered on the other side. (They weren't allowed to cross into Haiti.)

**I didn't really. This time. I just threatened. But he laughed so that proves I'm funny in real life too!!!

Good Times

This morning my Mom and (new husband) John left.  We've had a really fun week with them, but it went by too fast!  Fortunately, we were able to have lots of fun AND exploit their generosity quite a bit while they were here, so at least there's that.

For example, on Saturday Doug and I were able to experience something we'd all but forgotten about:  Peace and Quiet!  

Oh, and a date with free babysitting for a WHOLE DAY!  

That's right, Fae and John offered to babysit for us for the day while we visited Block Island:  the very last place on our Rhode Island 'to see and do' list.  We've been wanting to visit ever since we got here, but we'd never gotten around to it.  You should have SEEN how happy Doug was when the offer of babysitting was made and he could contemplate a kid-free day!

So Saturday morning we packed up a big back-pack and set off for the ferry that would deposit us on the island.  (Which is 12 miles from shore and takes about an hour to reach.)  It was then that Doug discovered something he NEVER would have noticed had kids been in tow.  He has some really long leg hairs.

Yep.  That's right.  As we sat peacefully on the ferry staring at the beautiful scenery and talking to each other about things of no consequence, Doug found an extremely long leg hair sticking off of his knee.  He soon realized that MOST of his leg hairs are that long when stretched out!  

 And to think.  Without Faezer and John, it would never have been possible to make such a

 startling discovery!

Anyway, once on the island we did another thing we've always wanted to do but can't do with kids.  We rented a SCOOTER!  It was a blast.  We scooted all around the whole island, saw both lighthouses in residence, and played on some gorgeous beaches.  (Eventually finding the perfect beach to ostensibly read our books, but really to fall asleep upon.)  The weather was perfect, the scenery was serene, and the food was fab.  We couldn't have asked for a better day.  

(Please pardon my glorious pasty white-ness.  I don't get out much.)

Meantime, back at the ranch (er, house) Faezerator was finishing up some other slave labor (besides babysitting) foisted upon her by moi.  Friday we had started a sewing project which was nearly complete, and by the time we got home, she had finished it.  (Pretty freaking amazing considering the boys were in residence.)  

So, here's how sewing projects go down around here:  I have an idea or inspiration.  Sometimes I even start the project and then give up part way through.  Next, Fae-bomb and I go to Jo-Ann's and buy too much stuff.  Then, I act like I'm going to help and assist but really just supervise and make the occasional suggestion.  Finally, Faezer does all the work and creates a thing of beauty. 

It's a tried and true formula, and it's always been successful.  Even with her new husband along, she still managed to work some sewing magic by doing all my mending, (even the mending I didn't know I had) and creating these awesome monster toys for the boys!  (Inspired by this blog post.)

Max's is a Pirate Monster, Sam's is a Sheriff Monster(green tag) who sticks his tongue out at 'scary' monsters, and Gabey's is just plain cute and even has a red heart on it's bum.  The boys love them and Sam has been carrying his around non-stop and sleeping with it.  (For the record, I did design the patterns, and I cut out some felt, and I made the pirate patch ALL BY MYSELF!)

All in all, it was a wildly successful day.  We had a fantastic time visiting Block Island, and the boys were (reportedly) very happy and well behaved at home.  Fae and John survived, but may or may not offer to babysit anyone's kids again ever.  (Sorry siblings!)

Thanks again Mom and John!  It was great seeing you!  We hope you'll make it to see us in Japan (or Hawaii)!  

And I promise if you do, I'll keep the sewing and babysitting to a minimum!

Trips Within Trips

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Utah holiday vacation to bring you...(*DRUMROLL*)

FAE & JOHN'S WONDERFUL WEDDING!!!  ***

...and too few hours of blissful, warm, redolent, fabulous, euphoric, happy, (did I say 'beautiful'?) hours of San Diego sunshine and warmth.

And now back to the snow.

***Beautiful photo courtesy of (my genius cousin) Wendy of Blue Lily Photography

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

I would like to gleefully announce the engagement of my mom, Fae, to her highschool sweetheart, John. They will be getting married in an undetermined temple in the near future! More details to follow!