Feb 3, 2011

New Year, Same Me

So, I always have this vague, fuzzy goal to "exercise more".  Basically, since I exercise never, "more" could technically mean one time.  Today I met my goal.  I exercised more today than I have in months.  (I was a little motivated to do crunches after having Gray, but as soon as I lost weight, I gave those up for Lent.)

Anyway, Doug suggested maybe I could go to the gym once a week while he's home for lunch.  I couldn't really think of any reasonable objections.  I mean, we all know mornings wont work (for the obvious reason that I'm asleep) and nights are filled with dinner, putting boys to bed and USA shows or, alternately, Pottery Class.

But lunch?  The only thing I'm generally doing at lunch is eating lunch...and day dreaming about a nap.  Both of which--turns out--can be delayed.

So then it was a matter of motivating me to actually do it.  We all know (we married folk) that there is one sure way to bribe your husband to do whatever you want him to do...

And that is by promising to put all four boys in bed on any given night.  Teeth, scriptures, prayers, stories, cuddles, tuck-ins...the works.  It's a big job.  Pulls lots of weight.  (You didn't think I was going to say something else, did you?)

Unfortunately, the same bribe doesn't work for me.  As Doug brain-stormed, I threw out some suggestions:
"Ice Cream party?!"
"Ice Cream Sundae?"
"Nuh uh."
"Single scoop ice cream cone?"
"Pulling out one of your teeth with pliers?"  (Why should he get to have all the fun!?)

Obviously he didn't like my suggestions.

None-the-less, even without a bribe in place, we put a date on the calendar.

Next problem:  "But if I go to the gym, whatdoIdo?  Just wander in to any old room and start "working out"? (whatever that means!)  Do I have to check in?  Are certain rooms off-limits?  Do I have to go through a locker room?  I'm scared!  It's scary!  Don't make me go!!!"

Solution:  Healthy Friend Janeen.  She teaches SPIN at the gym.  She goes to the gym of her own free will. SHE would take me and initiate me into the strange, sweaty/stinky world of the physically fit.

So today was the day.  Janeen brought her two little kiddies here for Doug to watch and we set off.  She told me she'd help me and it wouldn't even be scary.  After a brief tour and a "warm-up"(whatever!  That warm-up was HARD) she decided to introduce me to the TRX ropes.  (straps?)  We walked into a room where a smallish, very ripped man was beating the crap out of a punching bag.
It was scary.
I was scared.
I could envision him killing me with a single blow to the throat.

I persevered and did the work out anyway.

Just a few cinchy little exercises.  5 reps each.  No problemo.  This "working out" stuff is a breeze.

Thirty minutes later, we were walking out of the gym and my legs were already a little jiggly.

Now, hours later, sitting calmly at the computer,  my whole body seems to be gently (but painfully) vibrating.

I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be rough day.

I'm going to go take a nap.


Kayli said...

That was awesome. Really. Especially since I am an exercise hater myself. I felt a bit like I could have written a lot of this post myself.
I had a baby in Dec. so I have been hating my pooch and actually working out a few times. Then I remembered how lame it is to work out. Cuts into your sitting down time.

Jessi said...

I love it! Maybe I might excercise someday, too.

Beeswax said...

Just don't let her talk you into spin class for awhile. I tried one about 2 months postpartum, and after like 20 minutes, I lost all feeling in my legs and fell off the bike.

I wish my husband would bribe me to go to the gym. I would have him pay me in pounds of see's chocolate.

Anonymous said...

LOVE your writing, LOVE not exercising. Carry on, my cousin.

LaDawn Black Hall said...

LOVE your writing, LOVE not exercising. Carry on, my cousin.

mama bear said...

Way to go Em! My working out consists of dropping kids off in on-site child care and spending some quality time with the treadmill and a large-print book. Not bad, but it's not going to make my tummy go away! I am hoping to work into this cardio drumming class I heard about. We'll see, that might just be too crazy for me.

Anonymous said...

I have two tried and true excerize routines that have proven helpful. First every day I touch my knees 50 times without bending my toes. Second I fill the tub with water, pull the plug and swim against the current.

Unknown said...

Well done luv! I am so proud of you. I finally broke down about 10 months ago and bought a second hand elipical to get my butt - and the rest of me back in shape...31 aint no 16, eat whatever I want! And I finally started running on a weekly basis...what works for me...making Kyler come with me (he gets to ride his bike) but you'd be amazed at how motivating an 8 year old can be. So keep up the good work emmy!

FOX said...

Actually, in reference to what you inferred and then took back...

I do tell Brandon that he can have sex, no question asked, if he runs 45 minutes on the tread mil without stopping!

and ya know I get turned down a lot, so exercising must really SUCK!!!! Good thing I am a toothpick!

Good job EMZER I am proud!

Hey my word verification is "graycen" did you plan that (even though it is spelled wrong.

and your welcome for the TMI on my sex offerings! But this is coming from the woman who put a picture of your brother in the bath on her blog!

Want me to do it again? hehehe! That will leave you wondering... or scare you away... jk

Don't worry... I need to write about Dr. Frankenpoo next and you have to read it cuz I am going to send you some if you can't get it in Japan!

FOX said...

btw... it is Jake's 16th bday YAY, so give me time to write you back.