I (Doug) Need To Clear Up A Few Things Before I Begin:

(Get caught up here!)  

* First off, I'm more like Andre Agassi than the earlier Billy Jean King era of tennis. I never wore short shorts, except on the 8th grade basketball team. And tennis is awesome--as is country music. However, I think the country music animosity is the only reason my brother approved/s of Em. (The ONLY reason? That's the ONLY reason he let me into the family? Thanks a LOT Dave!!!)

* I wanted to defend Em's honor at the film shoot because just the night before in General Conference President Hinckley had lectured the world on respecting womanhood. And I didn't equate Playboy models as being an honorable tribute to women. I'm over it though. You're forgiven Matt.

For me this story is all about Tuesday's. It was a Tuesday when I felt strongly that I needed to break up with my then girlfriend. (Yes it was sudden.  Yes I may have been a jerk, but I felt compelled to do it and do it RIGHT THEN!) 

It was the following Tuesday when I decided to take a break after my O-Chem test and go climb at The Rock Garden.

(Did you get that people? We met a WEEK after he broke up with his girlfriend. Of course, he didn't tell me that so I was still feeling guilty I'd broken off an engagement so recently. HA!)

I can only recall one other time when I had even tried to get a girl's number, whom I didn't know. It was definitely not my style to hit-on girls in public. Yet I found myself sitting next to her on a bench watching others climb and talking to her, asking her where she was from, if she had been climbing long, etc. 

As I was leaving the Rock Garden I decided to go ask her for her number. I went over to where she was getting her shoes on and struck up another conversation so I could tell her I was going climbing on Friday with some friends and ask would she like to come. 

And I think the next Tuesday was a temple dedication that we attended together at the Marriott Center or something of the like.   (I'm pretty sure we did this separately but talked about it on the phone later.) (Yes, you may be right on that one, so that Tuesday must have been the one that there was a letter on my door from my ex-girlfriend...but that's another story.=))

After coming home from the Rock Garden the night I met Emily, I immediately went to find one of my climbing buddies. First, I found Jason who said he was otherwise engaged.  (Probably doing something lame with his girlfriend/fiancee.)   (You know he's totally kidding, right Christina?  Don't worry.  I tell him all the time that he's NOT FUNNY.)   So I got a hold of Mike, who I believe had sworn off all women after a BAD experience which involved buying a ring and losing possession of it and seeing it on the For Sale board in the WILK. (Now I would love to see that blog post Mike/Lindsey!) 

He agreed to go climbing with me on Friday. (But probably not before making some sort of snide comment.) The next day I looked at my phone list and called Emily. Unfortunately, I called the wrong Emily. After recovering and chatting with the other Emily for a while I hung up and called my new Emily. Emily's account seems to follow pretty accurately.

The next big event begins the following week when I called her up on Tuesday to ask her to do something. When she answered she said, "I was calling to see if you wanted to go camping this weekend?"

I need to interject here and tell my side of this story so I don't sound like a total hussy. That week, Anna and Travis were planning an over-night climbing trip. Anna told me to come along and invite Bryant. I said, flippantly, "Neh...If I invited anyone it would be Doug..." The thing was, I had no intention of doing any such thing. I was raised in a household full of very strict rules concerning girl/boy relations. Most of the rules were categorically ignored by me. 

Except the one that said "Girls don't call boys!" 

I tended to follow that rule very strictly with boys I liked. (Male friends and actual boyfriends, no big whoop. Suitors, no.) Not only did I not CALL them, but I definitely didn't call them up and invite them on over-nighters after only knowing them for A WEEK!

But Anna decided that that was indeed what I should do. After approximately two hours of arguing, I conceded defeat to her superior debating skills and intellect, and sheepishly and nervously went to my room to call Doug for the first time. To not only ASK HIM OUT, but ASK HIM TO JOIN ME ON A CAMPING TRIP.  I was thrilled when I got the answering machine. I left a quick message and hung-up hoping I hadn't just branded a scarlet A onto my forehead.

I was thinking, "I thought I was the one who called. Hmmm."

Then I said yes. I was excited to have such a huge invitation so quickly. I asked my brother if he thought I should go and he gave his blessing.  I, however, distinctly remember not asking my mom for advice on the unchaperoned camping trip with a girl I had just met and she had not met. =) Later that day I checked the answering machine for messages and found one from her. I thought "Ohhhh, now she doesn't sound so crazy." That next weekend we went down to Maple Canyon (located South West of Fountain Green Utah) with her roommate Anna and Anna's boyfriend Travis and I think Anna's cousin or something. (Yes. Cousin Reggie.) It was a very NICE date.

You can't beat new love, outdoors, campfire, darkness, a fire, and s'mores! We camped there overnight and went climbing the next morning. (Don't worry children reading this in the future: I didn't sleep in the tent with her. Reggie and I slept under the stars.) (Oh, and Tevas melt when they get too close to a fire, FYI!)

I remember she wore a white tank top and thinking she was so beautiful (Still is). She made a good tuna fish sandwich, which I had never before liked. She only dropped me about 8 feet while I was climbing. I remember thinking she was so awesome and fun to be with. We were always in good conversation together. Despite her Country shortfall, we had similar tastes in music. Right from the beginning it felt like we were great friends not awkward new dates. When we took that picture of us on the rocks on that trip I remember thinking it would have been a good spot to take an engagement picture. So even early on it must have already crossed my mind.

The last detail of this trip that I can find in my memory is when we were on the way to pick up the afore mentioned Reggie. She had some sort of note sticking out of her back pocket.  I found out she did not want me to see it. Naturally it became my only desire to see the note. It was a vicious struggle that unfortunately I lost after about an hour of driving and two or three venues. It turns out it was an e-mail she had printed out that day where she told her guy-friend Jayson that I was "the one".

So there is my account. I'll contract out one more post. It will be about the most controversial memory: the first time we held hands. Yes it is an innocent gesture, yet it symbolizes oh so much. Anyone can hug and most people can even kiss, but the first time you hold hands it tells the other person that you have much affection for them. And it is probably the only point upon which Emily is completely wrong (regarding our courtship that is. She has been completely wrong a couple/many times).

*Also, if anyone is faulting us for getting engaged/married so quickly you need to realize that if took all of our dates, hang out times, activities together, road trips, etc. and put them to once a week, then we dated about 1 year at least. That's how well we got to know each other. Yes, I too made fun of people like us who married quickly, yet we've been married over 8 years and still have never had a fight. Well, maybe I do lie just a little.

Well everyone, I hope you're happy.  You now have at least part of Doug's version.  And he's agreed to do at least one more installment.  In other news, I just found some old e-mail's, written to my family, about Doug, when we were dating.  So my job is getting easier by the minute.  

Until next time...

How I Courted Your Father -- Part IIII

(No idea what I'm talking about?  Get caught up here!)

Two days after our first date, Douglas joined me at my cousin Wendy's apartment for a dessert party.  Wendy(Rama) and I got together with our Carlsbad friends semi-regularly and the functions usually revolved around food of some sort.  Usually dessert.  

(Who knew that Wendy would one day be a FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHER!?!?!?!?)

Doug and I arrived at Wendy's apartment at The Riv where we were joined by Kristen and Shawn (married), Wendy, (maybe her latest boy-toy?) probably some of her roommates, and Mindy and Matt who were dating.  

It just so happened Wendy's parents were in town.  My fabulous Uncle Clyde and marvelous Aunt Jeanette.   (Remember Uncle Clyde has already been mentioned as an important character in this saga!)  They stopped by that night and Doug and Uncle Clyde immediately hit it off.  My Uncle Clyde is a dentist.  He actually served in the military in the Vietnam War as a dentist.  I watched them talking animatedly and felt happy that Doug was with me.

(When they went home to Carlsbad, they gave my mom, who was living there at the time, a very favorable review of the boy I brought to Wendy's party.  Doug had earned their seal of approval.  They weren't the only one's he impressed.  All my friends told me later that they really liked him.)

The thing about that night was, I had an additional engagement scheduled for after the party that I hadn't discussed with Doug.  When the party was wrapping up, I told Doug that Matt had asked me for some help and asked if he'd like to come with me.  

Matt was a film major and that night he'd gotten permission to use a local photography studio for a few hours to work on a film project for school.  He was making a Mac Computer commercial and had asked Bryant and I to be in it.   Yes, the same Bryant from the Rock Garden.  (I met Bryant through Matt and Mindy.  They were all in the same ward.)  (Yes.  I did find Bryant on Facebook.)

The instructions Matt had given me for that night went something like this:  "bring a really sexy outfit."  Hmm.  Okay.

The premise of Matt's commercial was this:  A man (Bryant) has a choice between two doors.  He walks up to door #1 and looks in the peep hole.  He sees a ravishing and fantastically beautiful woman... (that would be me, people).  He then goes to door #2 and looks in the peep hole...he sees a Mac computer.  

He picks door #2  

(jerk.)

(just kidding.)

(It was actually a really funny commercial.)

When we got to the studio, Matt and Mindy were setting everything up to do Bryant's part first.  Matt led us into a dressing room and offered me his theater make-up telling me to get prettied up.

Then he left us alone sitting in front of the dressing room mirror.  For the next hour or so, we talked.  We talked about life and school and family and friends and all sorts of things.  The conversation flowed smoothly while we stared into each other's eyes by way of the mirror.   (Did I ever mention that Doug has the BEST blue/green eyes?  They're very pretty!)

I was sorry when we were interrupted...

"I thought you said you knew how to put on liquid eye-liner!!!"  Matt rebuked when he entered the room.  

He then proceeded to put it on for me and thus began my film career.

Now, you know how when Oprah started out, her show was pretty trashy?  Well, my job that night was to sit on a stool in a short skirt and look seductive.   (Hey!  You take what you can get in Hollywood!)

I was woefully unprepared for the part.

As you may have noticed from reading my blog, I don't take myself very seriously. 

And I had no other acting skills to speak of.  I never took dance as a kid, (which involves using your body to relay a message to the audience...usually while wearing spandex of some sort)  or drama or acting...I took 10 years of violin lessons.   And I was never, EVER required to look seductive at a recital.  

This was entirely new territory for me.  I was so embarrassed I couldn't do anything but blush and giggle.  I made Mindy and Doug leave the room but it didn't help.  (Little did I know they were right around the corner and were still watching and listening.)  

Matt tried to coach me and coax me into hamming it up.  "Come on!  Pretend you're a Playboy  model!!!" he joked.  It didn't work.   I couldn't relax and I couldn't make myself stare deeply into the camera and wink.  I just couldn't do it.

Matt DID finish the commercial, but my acting career began and ended that night.

On the way home, Doug let loose on Matt.  "I can't believe that guy!  That was totally inappropriate!  I was THIS CLOSE to telling him off!"  

I was shocked and amused!  We'd just met and yet he wanted to defend my honor!!  I had to laugh and assured him Matt really was a good guy and my virtue was still intact.  (He eventually forgave Matt.  They're friends now.)

That night I came to an important conclusion.  But before I tell you what it was, we need to jump even further back in time.

Flash back to June, 1994

I was 16.  I was the last kid left at home living in Salt Lake City with my parents who were NOT happily married and hadn't been for as long as I could remember.   (Six months later I would move with my mom to Carlsbad.)  

In my Mia Maid class at church, we had a lesson on marriage.  We talked about what kind of person we wanted to marry.  We were then asked to list everything we wanted in our future spouse, in a letter to ourselves.  We were given stationary and told to seal the letter and keep it for the future.  We could open it later when we found the man of our dreams to see how he measured up.  

Remember how I said I keep everything?  Sometimes being a pack rat pays off.  This is the letter I wrote in June of 1994:  (It currently resides in my Wedding Album.)

And now back to April, 2000.

Shortly after meeting Doug, I started keeping a mental tally in my head of his pluses and minuses.  

Pluses;  Goes to BYU, has a definite career goal, (good aspects...I mean prospects!!) spiritual, handsome, funny, down-to-earth, rock climbs, similar family values, gentleman, worthy priesthood holder, loves his family....CHECK CHECK CHECK!   

Minuses; played tennis in High School* and listens to Country Music. (bleh!) 

I decided those last two were of no eternal import and decided to forgive him.   Oh, and he was tall, BLONDE, and handsome instead of tall, DARK, and handsome as clearly specified on the reverse side of my letter.  But I let that slide too.

That night I made a decision.  It was our second date and I distinctly remember thinking;

  "I could marry this guy!"

And four months later, I did!

The End

(Was that too abrupt?  Should I go on?  You tell me.  I'm just really tired tonight.  But  I'm just here to make you happy, so tell me what you desire!!!)

*Sorry tennis players.  It's just that at the time I associated tennis players with short white shorts and sweaters draped over shoulders.  I've since forsaken that evil view and now look very favorably upon all the tennis players of the world.

How I Met (and dated) Your Father -- Part III

(Read Part I here, and Part II here)

"Hey, I'm going climbing with some friends this weekend, do you want to come?"

This is probably the first and last lie Doug ever told me. He made it up on the spot. And I knew he made it up on the spot. And I was thrilled!

Me: "Um, YEAH! Let me get write down my number for you!" (as I leap towards the front desk to grab paper and pen.)

I went home happy!

Doug went home and called his friends to make arrangements to climb that weekend.

This was a Tuesday. On Wednesday, I got my first phone call from Doug. We made plans to climb on Friday. He would bring a friend and I would bring a friend.

Friday came. Doug arrived with his BFF Mike (a very nice guy who was planning on going to Law School) and picked up my BFF Anna and I in the car he shared with his brother Dave. (an old Taurus named "The Maroon Marauder")

Anna was actually dating her future husband Travis at the time but she came as a favor to me...and 'cause she loves climbing. (And Travis loves climbing. So I'm sure he totally understood. Right, Travis???)

***Unimportant Aside: As we were pulling away from The Old Mill, I saw something in the road and made Doug stop so I could grab it. It was a key chain of a cartoon character holding flowers behind his back. When you push his button, he blushes. The cartoon character's name is Doug.

I found it ironic. I kept it. (I keep everything) He currently resides in my underwear drawer--He's happy there.***

Now, if you'll recall, because of my recent painful break up, I had determined that I wasn't going to care deeply about boys anymore. I wasn't going to try too hard, put on an act, or take myself--or dating--too seriously. I was just going to have fun. And I did.

We went up to Rock Canyon and while I waited my turn to climb, I made jokes and played in the dirt.

Here is my creation photographed by an amused Doug:

Here is my butt in a harness:

And here I am climbing:

Do I look hard core?

Because I am.

I'm super hard core.

Please note my casual attire. Baggy shirt and pants. Hair up in a twist. I was probably thinking derogatory thoughts about girls who get manicures while I climbed. ('Cept not you PB. You're still hard core even if you do have nice nails.)

The day was great. The climbing was great. Everyone was laughing and joking and having a good time. Everyone was relaxed and seemed happy. Mike knew Anna had a boyfriend, so there was no pressure there. They both seemed to have fun anyway. On the way back to the car, we started talking about food. I mentioned that I was going to a dessert party at Wendy's that weekend. I jokingly invited Doug and Mike to come. Doug said okay!

As we continued to walk, Doug asked me if I had plans for that night! Now, it was a Friday night. If I were following "The Rules", I wouldn't have accepted a date on such short notice. But I'd decided not to play games. I didn't have plans, and I was happy at the prospect that our date would continue.

He took me home and arranged to come back a few hours later.

When he picked me up, our first stop was a little hole in the wall (basement) sandwich shop in Provo called Gandolfo's. If you've been there, you know it's awesome. It's a local favorite and is always packed.

While we waited in line, I blew the wrapper off of my straw and hit Doug in the face with it. When we got our food, Doug asked the cashier "Do you take American?" while holding out his money. (I laughed. She stared in confusion.)

Yes, this is the foundation upon which we built our eternal relationship: Dirt Land, straw wrappers, and general silliness.

Next stop was the local bowling alley where we reconnected with Mike and some of his female friends.

(I probably bowled between 60-70. I stink at bowling. I usually get one or two strikes and 5 or 6 gutter balls. That's just how I roll. (pun intended.))

Last stop was a typical last stop for Provo dates: Village Inn for dessert. Of course, even though it was late, it was packed. While we waited for a table, I made myself comfortable by sitting on Doug's lap. I say the rest of the seats were taken. He says I'm a brazen hussy.

Tomayto, Tomahto!

During dessert I continued to sweep Doug off his feet by dumping a packet of sugar onto my tongue and blowing it at him starting a sugar-spitting-fight.

It's hard to be as mature as I am.

It's a real burden.

That night, Doug dropped me off precisely at midnight.

(Did you know BYU students have to sign an Honor Code in order to attend school there? They do. And it includes a 12 o'clock curfew. Doug was one of the only guys I ever dated who actually kept curfew. I couldn't help but be impressed.***)

He gave me a hug at the door. I don't want to brag, but it was a pretty darn good hug.

You might think after my earlier performance I wouldn't get asked on a second date. You obviously underestimate my hugging ability...

To Be Continued...

(yet again.)

***Alright, alright Zoobies! I stand corrected! The curfew meant that the opposite s-e-x had to be kicked out by midnight (or 1:30 on Friday). Which means I had probably invited him in and he declined and THAT'S why I was impressed. Anyway, you get my drift...!

This--for you non-BYU-alumni out there--should give you further insight as to why the Provo Denny's and Village Inn were always packed in the middle of the night. CURFEW!

How I Met Your Mother...

er, Father.

I'm trying to be clever here. Give me a break.

Okay. Since this is the month of Gratuitous Posting (thanks NaBloPoMo) I'm going to tell a gratuitous story. The story of how I met Doug. Or at least the first chapter.

This needs to be recorded for posterity anyway, since Doug's memory is shockingly unreliable. (Puh-lease...I did NOT flirt as shamelessly as he claims!) (Or, if I did, he can't prove it.)

If you are one of the friends mentioned in this story, please feel free to correct or add to my details. Doug accuses me all the time of being a pathological liar, but in fact, I just have a creative memory. (No. Not like the scrapbook company.)

But I need to start at the beginning. Or at least, I need to start at the beginning of the year. Actually, the end of the year. Actually, Christmas 1999. Okay, I'm just going to start...

On Christmas Day, 1999, I broke up with my fiance. Over the phone. He was in Utah, I was visiting home in Carlsbad. It was a mutual thing but I'm not gonna lie...it pretty much ruined my day. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Many tears were shed and one very regrettable e-mail was sent. By me.

My sister tried to help by getting me a date for THE VERY NEXT DAY! The guy was in fact very cute, but I'm afraid I wasn't good company...being all listless and staring off into space as I was.

My mom's effort to help ended up being more effective. She took me to visit my Uncle Clyde for solace and advice. Now, Uncle Clyde and Aunt Jeannette are two of the best people you'll never meet. Uncle Clyde was my surrogate dad after my parents separated. He helped me get through the last two years of High School with my head on straight. He was also my spiritual advisor, and I was in desperate need of advisement.

You see, I had met T when I was 16. I had fallen madly in love with him when I was 18. And at 21, I thought I would marry him. So our broken engagement threw me for a loop.

(Seeing T off on his 2-year Mission, August 1996.)

(This picture could be titled "He's Just Not That Into You". We had just gotten back together after a one year break and he called me the wrong name two times that night. Whoops.)

ANYWAY, back to Uncle Clyde. I went to him for help and that night he gave me a very special Priesthood Blessing*. A blessing that put me completely at ease and helped to heal a lot of my heartbreak. In my blessing I learned two very important things: 1) I had not yet met the man I would marry, and 2) It would be through my friends that I would meet him.

Of COURSE I was still heart broken. But I was at peace.

Unfortunately, I was stuck in San Diego because T was supposed to have been my ride back to Utah.

Fortunately, roommate PB and our friends Jayson and Chris drove out from Utah, celebrated Y2K with me in San Diego, (when I had been hoping to get my ring) and then drove me home to get on with my life.

Life, just then, found me living at The Old Mill with two of my very best friends and my favorite 76 year old German; PB (Michelle), Anna, (Banana), and Ursula.

And things were pretty good there. Being in our early 20's, we were on the young side in that particular complex. (All except Ursula, of course, who tended to be on the slightly older side.)This meant we got plenty of attention from guys.

I resolved that I wasn't going to worry/obsess so much about boys any more. I was just going to date whoever I wanted, keep it casual, and focus on having fun. (Oh, and on school, of course...)

Thanks to the blessing from Uncle Clyde, I felt that confident that I wasn't supposed to marry T which made it much easier to move on and date other people. Which I did. Frequently. (But not nearly as many as my petite long-haired roommate PB, darn her!)

{In case you're skeptical, I should note here that I used to spend quite a bit of time in the ol' tanning beds, plus I had access to the wardrobes of two very fashionable roommates. So yeah...I was in top form and quite capable of securing a free meal most Friday and Saturday nights.}

It was towards the end of March when I got a call from Bryant**. Bryant was a friend of a friend and we'd been on one date and hung out a bit. He worked at a ski resort and I thought he was pretty darn cute. Anyway, he was calling because he wanted to go rock climbing and thought maybe my roommate Anna could get us in to The Rock Garden for free! Two other girls living in my complex had been wanting to go too, (Anna had offered) so I called them up and we all went together. Unfortunately, when we arrived, Anna had already gotten off work and none of us had brought money. I was JUST about to give up trying to sweet talk her co-worker into letting us climb when she walked in.

Turns out she had left work earlier and--I think-- had gone around the corner to visit her dad. On her way back, she noticed my car in the parking lot and came back in.

Just in the nick of time. We were set!

To be continued...

*The priesthood is the eternal power and authority of God. Through the priesthood God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power He redeems and exalts His children, bringing to pass "the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). God gives priesthood authority to worthy male members of the Church so they can act in His name for the salvation of His children. Priesthood holders can be authorized to preach the gospel, administer the ordinances of salvation, and govern the kingdom of God on the earth. (Definition from LDS.org) Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

**I went on one official date with Bryant and rock climbing wasn't it. He found out I'd never been fishing and decided to remedy that. We drove up a mountain. The road to the lake was blocked off. We parked the car and hiked through snow to the lake. It was cold. The lake was frozen solid. He taught me to "cast" for a few minutes until my fingers were blue and then we hiked back down to the car. It was a bit anticlimactic as far as first dates go, but I still managed to have a huge unrequited crush on him anyway.