Yesterday at my pre-op appointment:
Me: "Can I just get a feeding tube so I wont have to swallow?" (Haha, I'm so funny.)
Nurse: "That would be like having spikes down your throat."
Nurse: "It'll be better just to swallow. Of course, that will feel like swallowing spikes too."
Me: ($%&*#!!! That's not funny at all!) "Umm...how about an IV for fluids? I'm...not good with pain."
Nurse: "How many kids have you had?"
Me: "This is way scarier than that." (No one ever says anything about "spikes" before labor.)
Doug: You're banned from making any on-line purchases for the next two weeks. (There may have been an incident in the past involving Lortab and over $100 of Cookie Lee Jewelry.)
Me: Then I'd better hurry and submit my order to Amazon right now...!
Doug: NO! You're already under the influence of stress!
Me: "Hey! Maybe we can get the second season of "Lost" and watch it while I'm recovering!"
Me: "But then I probably wont remember it later..."
Doug: "Yeah...I already thought of that..."
Doug: "What kind of ice cream do you want me to buy?"
Me: "All kinds!!! Every kind!!!" (Every cloud has a silver lining.)
Speaking of nutrition, we have a WINNER!!!
I wish I were a winner...
See you sometime next week!!!
(check Doug's blog in the next few days to find out if I die of pain.)