Feb 5, 2009

I'm BaaaaaaAhhhhhck!

For the most part.

My mom thought maybe excessive itching wasn't a normal side affect of Percoset and maybe I was allergic, (I may or may not have spoken to her via Skype, while stoned and using a jimmy-rigged fork on a stick to scratch myself excessively) which made me feel down-right indignant that Doug was standing idly by while I was itching to death which led to me guilt him (Doug) into calling the nurse who was like "yada yada" but also gave him a prescription for Tylenol with Codeine which he (Doug) immediately switched me too--to appease me {and my mother}, eliminate the itching, and--as a bonus--prevent his wife [me] from becoming a drug-addicted junkie.  (I was like, "pa-sha!").  

In Doug's defense, he's not medically daft.  He just didn't think I was allergic because I had no hives and my throat wasn't closing.  Luckily, my mom was there to say "What ev!  Get that girl off the Percoset!"  So he did.  
(But then I was like "ow!  this isn't as strong!  Give me back the good stuff!"  --But he didn't.)

Anyway, that was two days ago and I've slowly been coming back from the living dead since then.  More hours of actual consciousness, less scratching.  And yes, I am pooping again now.  Thanks for asking!  (What?  You didn't ask?  Tough.  My blog!) 

In fact, yesterday, I felt so good/foolishly optimistic/bored/stir crazy, that I said "YES!  Let's go to the Snow Festival!  I feel fine!  I'm up for it!"  (lies.)  

But more about that tomorrow.

But really, being drugged out of your gourd does have it's advantages.  For example, I love to sleep.  And I've gotten to do lots of it.  Granted, the dreams weren't the best and some were down-right scary, but on the upside, I've written numerous songs, poems and touching soliloquies in my sleep!  No matter I couldn't remember any of them when I woke up.  I know they were good and Abraham Lincoln, (who was with me when I wrote them,) also knows they were good.  And that's somethin'!

Also, I haven't had to do a dang thing around the house or solve a single little boy dilemma or do a single errand or church assignment or anything.  (Note to self:  re-start Percoset.)

The down side is, tonight when Doug left to take Maxwell to piano, Gabe cried "DA-DAHHHH!" for -like- 10 minutes.  Not having seen me much for a week evidently led him to forget that I'M the one who pushed the little sucker from MY BIRTH CANAL!!!  (Over sharing again?  Sorry, but again...tough.)

So anyway, I suppose my drug vacation is over.   

I've got to go brain-wash Gabe now.

See you tomorrow.


JHuffman said...

Why is it that Lincoln is always ni the dreams of those of us hopped up on drugs? haha. Glad to hear you fixed your itching problem and hope Gabe's brainwashing is goin well!!!

Topsy said...

So glad you recovered with your sense of humor intact!

mountainmama said...

Ha Ha! I am glad all things are back to normal...including pooping! Happy Pre-Birthday only 4 more days. Maybe you could keep the drugs and have a REAL party on your birthday.

mountainmama said...

P.S. you are offically the party pooper! Sorry I could not resist.

Emily said...

your overshares seriously crack me up!! love them! oh, and happy early birthday, in case life gets crazy and I forget to tell you on the exact date...when is it again? haha. j/k...kind of.

LaLa said...

Snug, so glad you're pooping and semi-drug free again. Happy early birthday!

Beeswax said...

Congrats on poop!

After I got my wisdom teeth removed, I tried to watch SAVED BY THE BELL while high on percoset. I remember thinking, "this show is really, really deep, but it is moving much too fast. I just can't follow it."

Got my book in mail today! Will start reading asap!
Loved that addressed to Kelly "Not-Your-Business" Beeson.

mr. underhill said...

Happy birthday. With the time difference we have ours on the same day.

FOX said...


FOX said...

Oh... and after telling me about your poop on your blog, you hereby lose all rights to tease me about posting pictures of your brother in the bath, on my blog!!!