Buy Our House!

This house selling thing really stinks! Today we had our second Open House. We cleaned for two days. The Open House lasted two hours. Three people came through. We've had zero offers.

After this sort of time investment, I expect some real appreciation! I want the Open House Attendees to gaze adoringly at my color-coded closet. I want them to inspect the grout I scrubbed on my hands and knees!

Yes, Lookee-Lou's, feel free to sprawl on my plumped couch cushions and eat at my beautifully set table. Sit on the toilet and appreciate the artfully arranged custom photography of local landmarks. Check under the beds! Open every cupboard and closet door! Sniff the fresh smelling air and feel the sun shining through the meticulously shined windows!

But whatever you do, don't traipse through the house in under five minutes (scuffing the newly painted staircase on your way) and disappear forever!

I made you muffins! I polished every door handle! I locked my kids out in the yard for hours!!!

JUST BUY MY DANG HOUSE!

Please!

My boys just want to come back inside!