Doug: "Sam went and jumped on Max and squirted him with a juice box in bed this morning. Gotta go. Love you!"
It is seven a.m.. I can barely get my eyes to open! Seven o'clock in the freakin' morning and my sons have already been making JUICE messes!?!
Yes, it turns out that when Sam asked me last night to set his alarm for midnight, it wasn't just so he could wake up at midnight. He had nefarious plans in mind.
(I should never let these things go without adequate grilling!)
Since I WOULDN'T set his alarm, he woke himself up around 6 a.m., got a juice box, drank most of it, and then went in to prank Max by squirting him with the remaining juice. The thing is, Max wasn't that mad. He was planning the same thing.
WHY would my children do this?
It came out of a book, of course!
Roscoe Riley Rules #1
Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs
"Roscoe, is your brother up yet?" "Yep," I said. "But I had to use my Roscoe Riley Sneak Attack to wake him. Would you like to try it sometime?"
"I'm listening," Dad said.
"Well, first you knock real polite...
"Then you jump on his bed like it's a trampoline. And you scream, 'RISE AND SHINE, YOU BUM!' And if he still doesn't wake up, you squirt him with your juice box on his nose and toes."
"I see," said Dad. "Crude, but effective."
It is always nice when your dad is proud of you.
Hmm..."proud" wasn't exactly my reaction.
Sure, you might blame me for buying the book. But really...how was I to know? When I read about Ramona the Pest squirting a whole tube of toothpaste into the sink, I didn't go and do THAT! And I certainly never pulled any "boing boing curls" on any cute little blonde girls. (Okay, so there was a really cute little blonde girl, Ashley, in Misawa with golden locks and I pulled them just a little bit. But still...)
California just changed its carseat laws. It is now a requirement that kids be in a booster seat up until the age of EIGHT!!!
This means Sam has to go back in a booster. He hasn't been in a booster for YEARS!!!
The new law is based on recommendations from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Which would actually prefer kids stay in boosters until age TWELVE!
If you're caught without the required booster, it's a $479 ticket.
Watching the various news stories on ABC, I found this video:
"Do Kids Really Need Car Seats". The Freakonomics guys did their own testing and say seat belts are equally effective.
Another news story I watched featured "The Car-Seat Lady". She says that upwards of 90% of car seats are improperly used/installed. Another story said 85% are installed incorrectly.
So WHY are we forcing parents to continue to use/buy them, instead of changing car and seatbelt design like the Freakonomics guys suggest?!?!?
Do any of the "experts" out there drive a carpool or have more than one kid? Do they realize it's not easy--sometimes not even possible--to fit multiple car or boosters seats into your vehicle? Is there even any POINT (except to avoid tickets) if it isn't installed correctly despite our best efforts?
Yes, I know I sound like an uncaring heartless harpy who hates my children*, but I think our country likes to over regulate many things. And this is definitely one of them. If you show me empirical evidence that American kids, in their incorrectly installed car seats, are safer than kids in other countries, I'll shut up about this. (---but you can't!)
(Sometimes I really really miss Japan and their lack of litigiousness and lack of over-regulation!)
Okay, that's all for me. I'd write more, but I have numerous loads of laundry to wash today. Including all of Max's previously clean bedding!
Happy Monday everyone!
Don't forget to buckle up!!!
*Just for the record and before you send me hate-mail, I'd like to state that I DO believe in the efficacy of seat belts and I DO buckle my children up. Even when we were in Japan, driving off-base, and I didn't have to.