Nov 11, 2009

What the S-e-x?!

*Warning! This post contains graphic information regarding the s-e-x of our baby!!!"

When Doug came home from his TDY in San Francisco, he brought more than just Sour Dough Bread for my souvenir.

He also brought this:Since this was a few weeks ago, it was too early for an ultra-sound and we were, understandably, anxious to know the s-e-x of this baby. (#4)

So, the morning after he got home, Doug dragged me out of bed at 6:30 a.m. so I could do the test. (You have to use morning pee.) Here's how it works. You pee in a cup. You use a syringe to pull out an exact amount of pee and put it in another cup already containing a mystery substance. A crystally/powdery mixture. Then you wait ten minutes.

If the pee stays yellow or orange, you've got a GIRL.
If it turns green, BOY.

My pee turned green. Immediately.

"Told ya!" I said. And went back to bed for an hour.

The next day, I picked up the packaging and started reading more carefully. We'd followed the directions correctly. But then there was a Q&A section which said "Preliminary studies have found un-protected s-e-x within the last 48 hours can lead to a false "male" result." (Or something to that effect.)

Huh! I thought. Maybe there's still a slim chance we're having a girl!
('Cause, you know...we'd...a..........nevermind.)

When I told my friend Julie about the results, she said,
"You need to check the Chinese Calendar. The Chinese Calendar is NEVER WRONG. I trust it over your test."

So I checked the Chinese Calendar.
It said...


Well, around these parts you can't get an ultra-sound until 22 weeks and then they may or may not tell you the gender.

But you CAN go to an O.B. clinic in Hachinohe, pay 2,000 yen, and get an ultrasound with video!

So at 17 weeks and 6 days, we did.

The Doctor came in. A distinguished older Japanese man. He smiled politely as he pointed out the beating heart, skull, spine, arms, and then...bum and legs. Legs with something in between them. "Boy?" we asked. There was definitely something there. He just smiled serenely and pointed to a sign on the wall.

"S-e-x cannot be determined until 24 weeks. Results are not guaranteed."

He just kept smiling and shaking his head.
We just kept saying "Boy! Yep! It's a boy!" We've seen boy ultrasounds in the past, ya know.

We brought home the pictures and the video tape.

A few days later I showed my friend Tami. She's a pediatric nurse. She looked at the picture. "I dunno. That's awfully big for only 18 weeks!" (Doug grunts like Tim the Tool Man in the background saying "Yeah! Dub Boy!" in a deep voice.)
Tami: "Maybe that's a hand!"
(If so, my little girl was giving me the finger.)
Then she watched the video.

"Okay, that's a boy!"

Uh huh! Thought so!

A few days later some other friends, the B's, had us over for dinner.
Dr. B also happens to be my O.B.

Doug brought the video.

"Well, I don't usually look at such early ultrasounds. Usually I don't see them until the third trimester. But it DOES look like a boy to me. Of course, it could be a girl with c_____ g______..." (Trust me when I tell you it's something freaky you DON'T want your baby girl to have.)

WHAT THE...?!?!?

We'll take a boy, thankyouverymuch!!!

No more verification needed!

Yep! We're having a BOY!

And I'm fine with that.
We're happy!
We love boys!

And I'm planning to adopt a girl.
No more rolling the dice for me!

No, I'm not joking.

Yes, I'm totally serious.

I will get my girl. I WILL!!!

(Let me know if you know of any birth mom's who want their baby to have four big brothers!!! THANKS!)

Ta-Ta For Now!


Melissa Abby said...

Congrats on another boy, at least you know just what to do :) Whether you have a boy or a girl he/she is very lucky to be in your family!! Hope you are feeling better lately!

Linz said...

Congrats! You're a great mommy of boys!

Pinspot said...

So you want a girl... would you take a 5 year old?

Congrats, Em, and it's okay to be disappointed. I always am, and then I end up loving them anyway.

Beeswax said...

Oh, BOY! I'm glad your little girl wasn't giving you the finger. I didn't really care too much that this bun in my oven was another boy, either. It is fun to play dress up with a girl, but then they get all moody and emotional (especially if you let them watch lame sitcoms on the Disney Channel, where they teach them teen angst at age 6. We cancelled cable this month.) I guess I just never thought of myself as one of those BOY moms, you know? I'm pretty calm and quiet, and I never imagined I'd have a whole house full of loud and wild boys! I'll bet you didn't either! Congrats!

Jessi said...

Really? A boy! Congrats.

annie said...

As a fellow mom of FOUR boys I offer my congrats. I never in my wildest dreams pictured myself as a mom to boys, seeing how T and I are both from families of 5 girls - 1 boy. But I love my boys so much, even if I have to ask T regularly "is that (boy) behavior normal?!?!??"
your cousin,
the BFL ceo

FOX said...

OK so I have a few very pointed things to say!!!!

1. I wanted to see the crystals turn green!! Not so much a picture of the box!

2. NO MORE eating dinner with your OB.... ewwwwww... freaky Mormons!!!! (yes I am one, so I can say that!)

3. Did you WATCH him wash his hands before touching your food?!!!

4. I am willing to give you all of my girls for a month! For one hour with your baby! Then you will have girls all out of your system, and Rainy won't have to deal with me for putting her head thru the window again!

OK! ummmm That is about it! Love ya!!

likeschocolate said...

I love this post! This is why we are going to try for number 4. I want a girl. Though after 3 boys, I am not sure. I think I might need my head checked. Good luck! I am glad you guys are still having fun in Japan.

No Buckaroos said...

Congratulations! Some of us like to specialize!! (You, me, Katie!)

g said...

Are you FREAKIN KIDDING ME!! No offense, but I would rather take a girl with something freaky in-between her legs than another BOY!! I wish I could say that I am happy that he is healthy and all, but I just can't bring myself to do it... I can't! Well, I'm gonna try to get pregnant in january and when I find out I'm having another girl, we can discuss the subject of trading babies (of course you will have to give me yours PLUS pay me a bunch of money because I will be trading a girl for a boy!).

You know I'm kidding.... Congrats. Call me already so I can figure out this iChat thing.

mama bear said...

Hooray for boys! Oh, and thanks for letting me know you "did it" when Doug got home. I was wondering.

projectile vomiting is fun said...

it isn't as much fun as the other way, but ....

you can put the little swimmers in a centrifuge called the disneyland magic teacup ride and turn it on until everyone is vomitous, then ....

then separate the girl swimmers from the boy swimmers and let them search out the desired object, thus ....

increasing your chances of a, voila, girl.

on the other hand this method just may be a lot of fun too.

marissa said...

Congrats on boy #4! I'm sure there are lots of birth moms who want their baby girl to have 4 big brothers to protect her :) I'll start looking :)

Our Three Sons said...

I so love reading your blogs!!! Your little man is going to be adorable just like his big brothers!!

renee said...

Emily- thanks for always maing me SMILE! I know if I am in a slump I can read your blog and get a good chuckle.....
don;t think I am laughing AT you...just with you! You rock!!!! And day you will have 4 adughter in laws.....and then maybe you will be glad you had just boys! HA HA HA HA!

Erin & Daren said...

Congratulations! I'm just now reading this as I have been kinda busy in that we moved to TEXAS! You can also pee into crystal draino. Worked with Ella. You can get it at walmart (not sure where in Japan)but blue green is a girl and brown black is a boy. Looks like that company is capitalizing on it-Cool. Probably better crystal draino fumes furiously and is kinda dangerous if you dont use a plastic cup. Congrats again!