Aug 3, 2009

Blah Blah Blubber

Just so you know:

I've gained a little weight over the past year.
And I've made some unfortunate wardrobe choices.  
(The empire waist may be "in" but it's not slimming!)

This has led to a few people asking me if I'm pregnant.

The answer is no.  

No, I'm not.

But we have been trying unsuccessfully for a year which has led me to soothe my soul with copious amounts of M&M's.  

So in a way, I AM carrying a baby.
A ten-pound food baby.
(We're happy together.)

Just wanted to clear that up!!

Oh, and one more thing:

To the Bratty Girls in 1st-12th grade who used to look me up and down and say 
"UGH!  You're so SKINNY you make me SICK!"  (Not a compliment.)
I just have one thing to say:

...I'm still skinnier than you.  




(But to all you NICE girls out there, don't worry!  You are WAY skinnier than I am!  Really!  I'm so sorry for being bratty!  It's because it's way past my bedtime and I had way too many M&M's tonight while watching Burn Notice!  Can you forgive me???!!!???)


Linz said...

You go ahead and tell those mean little girls a thing or two! And go get some more M&M's. You deserve them!

Sarah said...

I got the skinny snotty comments too! There is nothing wrong with snacking while watching Burn Notice, I prefer yogurt though!

@lliE from FreshlyCompleted said...

My whole life I've, as well, always gotten the "You're So you ever eat?"

Oh, the awesome come backs I've always withheld in my head. For some reason you're allowed to "make fun" of skinny people, but not chubby people. Oh, but if i could...

Topsy said...


Got addicted on vacation. Now I'm back with no tv and I need some witty repartee.

Bartimaeus said...

Go to bed!

Mrs. Dub said...

even at my thinnest, i will always be fatter than you ... so i highly recommend continuing your indulgences. i'll be sending baby vibes your way (since i'm happy to refrain from making one for at least a few months.)

oh, and i'd be happy to kick those girls in the shin. (fat shins!)

Anonymous said...

I am with you, I put on some weight over the last year. Emotional Eating!!!

Susan Rozier said...

Emily, You are the best! I love your blog and look for it daily. I'm so happy when you post because I know I'm in for a laugh! Your Favorite Aunt Sue

Emily said...

awe, I want to meet your food baby. Because then that would mean I had seen you and then life would be great!! You will never be fat and you will always be a goddess so eat tons more m&m's, the peanut butter ones, and think happy thoughts.

Lizzy said...

I HATED the skinny comments growing up . As if telling someone they have chicken legs is a compliment! Now, after 4 kids I have the "muffin top" tummy & the chicken legs ;)

Catherine said...

You funny girl!

Brandoneous said...

Could maybe forgive you for being bratty, but not for watching Burn Notice. How Lame can one show get? You should try something good like Warehouse 13.