This is not my story. I repeat, this is NOT MY STORY! This came via e-mail from a very good friend of mine in Colorado. Let's call her "Felix" just for kicks and giggles. She sent this very well written note followed by two pictures. After I finished laughing hysterically, I called her to ask if I could blog it. It is reprinted here with her permission for your enjoyment!- E Dub
So you think you're having a bad day???
Mine started at about 5:15 pm. Up until then I had been having a pretty good day- despite all the crying over Whitney's first day of school. I was baking a chicken pot pie from scratch and had pulled the pie out of the oven to wrap tin foil around the edges to prevent burning. Instead of that yummy pie crust smell, I kept getting a whiff of something else, something not at all pleasant. I kept thinking, "Why does this pie smell like poo?" As I leaned over to put the pie back in the oven, I glanced up at the microwave clock and realized Olivia had been napping for over 4 hours. And then I knew. I rushed upstairs muttering, "Oh no, oh no, oh, no!"
I walked in, drew in a sharp breath, and walked right out. The odor was overwhelming. I debated: If I take pictures, she'll think this is a good joke. If I don't take pictures, I'll have no way to embarrass her when she's older.
What could be more embarrassing than a picture of you with poo in your mouth? So I decided to get the camera and lecture sternly, frowning while snapping pics. She thought it was hysterical, posing and saying, "Cheese!" Then clean-up began, which she wanted to help with. What do you use to get poo out of tiny cracks? I started with baby wipes, then moved to Scott towels, then got my exfoliating shower glove. I'm trying toothpicks next. This poo was like Mississippi mud - not so easy to clean once it's caked on and partially dry.
After a very hard scrub in the bath Olivia still smells strongly of the stuff. I haven't finished cleaning the crib and honestly wonder if it will ever be clean again. I had to put her to bed in the porta-crib in a different room because of the noxious fumes. Did I mention I have house guests arriving tomorrow for a wedding? Good thing I took pictures- it'll be a great excuse. "Sorry the house isn't so clean, I spent all night working on this!" If Olivia wasn't so cute, we'd be attending a funeral this weekend instead of a wedding.