A Birth Story: Part 1

For TLC.
I mean...
Design Mom.
I mean...
POSTERITY!

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April 4, 2010.  Easter Sunday.
10 a.m.
I go to church.  (Conference is delayed for us.)
I'm having contractions.  Regular, but not hard at all.
I give Brother/Dr. Ryan a hard time for not inducing me.  Aren't Home Teachers/O.B.'s supposed to do what you ask?

5 p.m.
Our good friends have us over for dinner.  Tami assumed, rightly, that I wouldn't be in the mood to cook an Easter feast.  See how thrilled I am with life?

Despite my maternal discomfort, I enjoy a delicious dinner (You rock, Tami!!!) and decide I'll force the baby out by over-eating.  My full stomach will push him out!

9 p.m.
Home again.  Still having regular contractions.  I decide to call Labor and Delivery.

Me:  "I'm having contractions 4 minutes apart.  They're not hard at all, but I'm Strep B positive so they told me to come in early...should I come in...?" please please please!

Nurse:  I'm sorry, you said your name is what?  Emily?   ...Strep B...?

Dr. Ryan:  (yelling into the phone over the nurses shoulder.)  "STAY HOME!!!"
(then he comes on the line and I tell him what I just told the nurse.)
"You're probably in pre-labor.  You're fine to stay home until the contractions get harder."

10:00ish
I'm cleaning the house and doing laundry.
Ryan calls from LandD to check on me.   Tells me I'm welcome to come in and get an Ambien to help me sleep tonight.  I walk over to the hospital to get checked out.
Dr. B says I'm still at a 3 and not in real labor or I wouldn't have been walking to the hospital.  (Doesn't that just prove I'm tough?  I ask.  Laughs all around.)
Asks would I like him to strip my membranes.
YES
All of the sudden, I'm screaming (not very tough) and trying to claw my way up the hospital bed.
All of the sudden, I have a contraction that hurts.
A lot.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?!?!?!?"

The nurse gives me an Ambien and makes Doug come pick me up.
I get home and fall instantly asleep

And here's where it gets kinda blurry.
12:30 ish
I wake up with a scream.
Real labor has started.  Time to go to the hospital.
I stumble out of bed and Doug calls Roxanna to come over to stay with the kids.
I stumble to the stairs.  I remember crashing a few times.  Keep in mind, I'm only two hours into a sleeping pill so I'm not entirely coherent.  Doug has to help me into the car so I don't fall over.

We go to the hospital and check in.  The contractions are hard.

The Anesthesiologist hasn't come in yet.  I decide to try my Podcast meditation.

It goes something like this...
A chick with an Australian accent tells me:
"Allow yo focus to go into the location of pain.
Breathe into the pain.  Allowin' the enegy of the pain to dispuse as you relax...
Breathin' into the pain...You awe calm, you awe focused..."
Me yelling: "NO I'M NOT"
"Imagine this pain has a colah.  What would it be?"
Me:  "RED!!!!"
"See the colah gettin lighta..."
Me:  "IT'S NOT GETTING ANY LIGHTER...!!!"
"You are in control.  Not the pain...."
Me:  "NO I'M NOT!!!"  (Rips iPod from ears...)

I tried.  I really did.


To be continued....