Aug 18, 2013

"How Are You???"

Listen, I know when people ask this question they're not actually looking for the truth.  And I TRY to lie--I really do!   But somehow the facts just come spewing out!  Usually, the first thing I blurt is "Waddle-y".  Which draws blank stares.  So then I have to expound.  "Oh, ya know...my hip joints just hurt so it's hard to walk.  And sit down.  And stand up.  Plus my feet really hurt...um...'cause...my arches are falling...." *oversharing! I start to mumble and trail off...*  "so I'm just tired and sorta waddle-y..."

"Well!" he or she will say, "At least you're at the end, right?!?"  (sometimes followed by) "It looks like you're ready to pop!!"  I should just nod and walk off at this point--save us both some pain.  But again, that darn verbal diarrhea just can't be contained.  "Actually, I still have..." (This exact conversation has been happening for at least the last two months so insert the appropriate number of weeks.  Currently it's...) "seven weeks!"  *awkward pause or perhaps "are you sure there aren't twins in there?"  Yep.  I'm sure.*  I power on:  "My actual due date is Oct. 1st but my OB said she'd induce me a week early.  'Cause I have such big babies..." *start trailing off again...*

This conversation could potentially go on for an hour.

When all they wanted to hear was "I'm fine!!!"
---
In other news, I had an OB appointment on Wednesday after not having gone in for a month.  (She cancelled my last check because she was doing an emergency c-section.  Am I over-sharing again?)

First off, I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life.  More than I've weighed full-term with any other boy.  I currently weigh
(sucker.  I'm not posting that.)
much more than I should.  Fortunately, she hasn't bothered to lecture me about it.  (Maybe she can sense I'm just barely hanging on to my sanity at this point!)

Anyway, as she was feeling around my stomach, she couldn't quite figure out where the head was/is.  So she decided to do a quick ultra-sound and pulled the machine into the room.

Turns out, his head (he has a very cute little face, btw) is on my left side and his feet are on my right side.  In other words, he's not head down yet.  At 33 weeks, this isn't a huge deal, but she'd like him to flip asap.  So she starts to tell me how other women have been successful getting their babies head down.  "You can put your feet on the couch and your hands down on the floor..." (me=baffled) "or you could try walking your feet up the wall..."  Again, I'm just sitting there trying to imagine how I could do anything of the kind when I barely got myself into and out of the car to make it to this appointment.  I can barely keep my balance in an upright position and she wants me to turn my self upside down.  Or get my feet behind me and above my head?!?!
"Anyway, sometimes the baby will flip if you do that..."
Uh huh.
He's just gonna have to work this one out on his own...
---
The appointment goes on and I ask her about the induction.  Can I still be induced a week early?  "Yes, we'll plan on that.  It looks like the baby currently weighs...(consults ultrasound machine) 5lbs. 8oz.  That's the 98%.  How much did he weigh?"  (points at Gray who accompanies me to all my appts.)  "He was over 9 pounds at a week early."  "Yes, it looks like this baby is on track to be about the same..."
me=*wimpery noise*
"Unfortunately, they wont let us induce any earlier than one week..."
me=*sobbing on the inside*
---
So there you go.
THAT is how I REALLY am.

Or, ya know...

"Fine!"

4 comments:

Joanna Ehrhart said...

I keep thinking about you because it's hot here, which reminds me of one year ago when I was 42 weeks pregnant, 60 lbs heavier than normal, and uncomfortably warm. Then I think, "I wonder how Emily is doing," so I am glad to have a long answer. I hope your baby boy comes early for you, and I hope he turns! (Both of mine were breech until the last minute, and I spent lots of time doing inversions and hypnosis [I was desperate!] to encourage them to turn.)

I also hope people stop asking you if you're sure you only have one gestating baby. (I dealt with that my last few months, too, and people thinking I must feel miserable when I actually felt great, aside from the heat. [Sorry, don't hate me.])

Anyway, I also hope your physical discomfort miraculously disappears. I would help if I could, but geographic limitations make it impossible for me to do much (although technically I could mail you good chocolate, but it would probably melt en route and I bet you can find there already, so it seems kind of pointless.) But here's some sympathy and love! xoxoxo

KT said...

Emily, your post is like a page out of my current life!! I totally can relate to every single thing you said, except, oddly enough, people asking you if you're having twins. Which is funny cause I am having twins. I want someone to ask me so I can be like, "YES! Yes I am!" But, my baby boy keeps flipping and going breech on me. I have the same exact reaction as you to these supposed "fixes". Are you kidding me! It's gonna take all I've got to get off this couch, people! But my hubby has been talking to my babies way down low on my belly and shinning a light on it too and he did actually flip down there. They say they can hear you and see the light and go toward it. Unfortunately the stinker is breech again so we need to do it again, but it did work once. Honestly I have no idea how he is moving that much in the first place!!! I am 31 weeks along and gigantic. Anyway, you are not alone!! I feel your pain, quite literally! Hang in there! :) (My last boy was 9 lbs. 3 oz...times that by two, and just kill me now!)
-Your cousin :)

acte gratuit said...

Thanks for the commiseration ladies!!!

Today when I went to pick up the boys from school, a woman walking by in the opposite direction said "Are we having twins?" (Um, WE are not having anything!!!)
Me: "No, just one..."
Mean Lady: "That's going to be one HEALTHY baby!"

JUST SAY IT! SAY I'M MONSTROUSLY HUGE!!! SHEESH!!!!!

Anyway, I'm considering not going out in public anymore.
(To be fair, I should mention that yesterday I ran into two ladies from church. They asked how much longer I had, and then had the good grace not to look shocked. And THEN said "You look GREAT!" Obviously, very intelligent women--who've had multiple kids each!!!)

Linz said...

I love you, Em!

But seriously... I am SO glad I'm not pregnant. Yeah, I said it.

I'll be praying for you to go way early! :)