"How Are You???"

Listen, I know when people ask this question they're not actually looking for the truth.  And I TRY to lie--I really do!   But somehow the facts just come spewing out!  Usually, the first thing I blurt is "Waddle-y".  Which draws blank stares.  So then I have to expound.  "Oh, ya know...my hip joints just hurt so it's hard to walk.  And sit down.  And stand up.  Plus my feet really hurt...um...'cause...my arches are falling...." *oversharing! I start to mumble and trail off...*  "so I'm just tired and sorta waddle-y..."

"Well!" he or she will say, "At least you're at the end, right?!?"  (sometimes followed by) "It looks like you're ready to pop!!"  I should just nod and walk off at this point--save us both some pain.  But again, that darn verbal diarrhea just can't be contained.  "Actually, I still have..." (This exact conversation has been happening for at least the last two months so insert the appropriate number of weeks.  Currently it's...) "seven weeks!"  *awkward pause or perhaps "are you sure there aren't twins in there?"  Yep.  I'm sure.*  I power on:  "My actual due date is Oct. 1st but my OB said she'd induce me a week early.  'Cause I have such big babies..." *start trailing off again...*

This conversation could potentially go on for an hour.

When all they wanted to hear was "I'm fine!!!"
---
In other news, I had an OB appointment on Wednesday after not having gone in for a month.  (She cancelled my last check because she was doing an emergency c-section.  Am I over-sharing again?)

First off, I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life.  More than I've weighed full-term with any other boy.  I currently weigh
(sucker.  I'm not posting that.)
much more than I should.  Fortunately, she hasn't bothered to lecture me about it.  (Maybe she can sense I'm just barely hanging on to my sanity at this point!)

Anyway, as she was feeling around my stomach, she couldn't quite figure out where the head was/is.  So she decided to do a quick ultra-sound and pulled the machine into the room.

Turns out, his head (he has a very cute little face, btw) is on my left side and his feet are on my right side.  In other words, he's not head down yet.  At 33 weeks, this isn't a huge deal, but she'd like him to flip asap.  So she starts to tell me how other women have been successful getting their babies head down.  "You can put your feet on the couch and your hands down on the floor..." (me=baffled) "or you could try walking your feet up the wall..."  Again, I'm just sitting there trying to imagine how I could do anything of the kind when I barely got myself into and out of the car to make it to this appointment.  I can barely keep my balance in an upright position and she wants me to turn my self upside down.  Or get my feet behind me and above my head?!?!
"Anyway, sometimes the baby will flip if you do that..."
Uh huh.
He's just gonna have to work this one out on his own...
---
The appointment goes on and I ask her about the induction.  Can I still be induced a week early?  "Yes, we'll plan on that.  It looks like the baby currently weighs...(consults ultrasound machine) 5lbs. 8oz.  That's the 98%.  How much did he weigh?"  (points at Gray who accompanies me to all my appts.)  "He was over 9 pounds at a week early."  "Yes, it looks like this baby is on track to be about the same..."
me=*wimpery noise*
"Unfortunately, they wont let us induce any earlier than one week..."
me=*sobbing on the inside*
---
So there you go.
THAT is how I REALLY am.

Or, ya know...

"Fine!"

European Vacation Day 4 - Gold Beach in Arromanches and Versailles with B's.

The next morning after another delightful breakfast, we headed out in the rain for our last Normandy destination: Gold Beach in Arromanches. We had stopped by briefly the night before, but came back to go through the Musée du Débarquement. I was glad we did. I could have spent hours wandering around in there.

Learning all about Mulberry Harbor, the floating harbor built by the allies, was amazing. It was thanks to this incredible innovation that supplies were provided to the Allied troops helping them win the war.  Although it was meant to be temporary, pieces are still floating out in the channel.

After another peek back in time, we headed out of Normandy to our next destination: Monet's Home and Garden in Giverny-80 miles west of Paris.
We were thrilled to be meeting another Misawa couple, Ryan and Diane.  (You may remember Ryan as my former home teacher and OBGYN.)

As a huge fan and long time admirer of Impressionist art and artists, I was SO EXCITED to visit Giverny. This was probably the only time I REALLY wished we had taken a real camera with us to Europe instead of relying on our i-phones.  These photos just don't do justice to the beautiful flowers and scenery.

 Although it was incredibly crowded, it was still fun walking through his house and gardens and had an excellent gift shop for an art lover. I could have browsed that gift shop for hours, but it turns out, the men I was traveling with, could not.

Why I Need to Remember NOT to Get Pregnant Again

This post is just for me.  A personal reminder of why this should be my very last pregnancy.  JUST IN CASE, a year or two from now, when post-partum amnesia has set in, I convince myself to pony up $20,000+ and do IVF-with-sex-selection to get a girl.  This post has many of the same items from THIS post.  The reason all of these things are so much more traumatic this time around, is because they're starting much earlier.  The last post was written at 8 months.  Right now, I'm barely 5 months.


Here are some reasons I SHOULDN'T EVER GET PREGNANT AGAIN EVER!!!

1.  WEIGHT!  I'm gaining weight.  But not just normal pregnancy weight.  LOTS of extra weight.  And since I'm a lazy sloth who hates exercise, this is not good for me!  Each pregnancy I start out weighing 5+ pounds more than I weighed when I started the last one.  This is not a reassuring precedence.

2.  THE PAIN!  A few weeks ago, my feet started to hurt.  I couldn't figure it out.  Every day they were a little worse.  A foot rub from Doug didn't help.  Soaking them in the hot tub didn't help.  I cut down my flip-flop wearing.  That didn't help.  Pretty soon I was hobbling around like an old woman and sitting down every possible second.  (Not helping my weight.)  Finally I went to the podiatrist.  He said it was caused by the normal pregnancy thing where your ligaments get loose in preparation for the baby.  This normally occurs in my hips the last few weeks.  It's never happened to my feet.  Prescription:  Only wear shoes with great arch support and roll feet frequently on a frozen water bottle.  If that doesn't work, come back in for custom insoles.  Also, my arches just might fall.
No more flip flops?  No slippers around the house?  No more bare feet?  And the possibility of FLAT feet?  Terrible!  And, by-the-way, turns out rolling your feet on ice is COLD!
WHY pregnancy, WHY?!?!?!

3.  MORE PAIN!  That ligament pain I mentioned?  The extreme inconvenience that normally doesn't hit until week 34-35?  It's already starting in my hips.  Makes it painful to walk, climb stairs, sit down, get in and out of bed...it pretty much just sucks.  And again, it's happening much earlier this time.  I'm only 20 weeks!  TWENTY MORE WEEKS OF THIS!?!?!

4.  CAN'T EXERCISE!  When I was first pregnant, I had a morning when I was feeling okay.  Not too nauseated.  I got on my exercise bike and started peddling.  Three minutes later I was hanging over the toilet saying good-bye to my stomach contents.  Now that I'm over the morning sickness, exercise has a different result.  Even mild exercise leaves me sore for the next 3-5 days.  AGAIN, not helping my weight.  Even the pool left be sore the other day.  I think it's the stupid ligament thing.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

5.  HAIR!  Excessive hair growth.   And no, I don't mean my hair is getting long and luxurious.  It's as thin and wimpy as ever.  (And after I have the baby, it will all fall out.)  No, I mean body hair.
I will say no more about this topic ever.  (Unless it's to tell you I'm a big fan of laser hair removal.)

6.  NAUSEA!  I would mention the three months* of incessant puking and nausea, but I'm trying hard to block it out.  (*Three months this time.  Six months with Gray--lest I forget that.)

7.  EXHAUSTION!  I'm tired!!!  Okay, fine.  I'm always tired.  No change there.  But adding one more kid to the mix doesn't normally improve matters either.

8.  ANEMIA.  Again.  Always.  Dizzy.  Light-headed.  I'm over it!  And p.s., taking iron does weird things to your, um..., poop.

9.  LINEA NEGRA!  Why me?  I do not fit the profile of having darker skin tone!  I'm down-right ghostly!  Yet I always have it and I always take extreme and painful measures trying to scrub it off post-partum.  Why?  (And in the same area we also have "Ugly Belly-Button Syndrome")

10.  ACID REFLUX!  Brought on by pretty much anything with any flavor or seasoning of any kind.  Extremely uncomfortable!

There are more reasons, (Optical Migraines!) but I'm feeling like a pretty big whiner.  Suffice it to say, I am not one of those women who have pain and hassle-free pregnancies.  (But all of YOU women, should go ahead and have 10-12 kids to make up for wimpy people like me!)  In fact, I think my body is really trying it's hardest to punish me for this one.  It seems to be telling me, "If you proceed in this baby-making folly, I'll have no choice but to self-destruct one item at a time.  Hair, eyes, bladder, joints, feet, weight, mental health (such as it is)....all will fail you.  So knock it off!"

There are other ways to get babies.  If I decide I really can't live without a girl, I would like to declare--to myself--right now that ADOPTION IS YOUR ONLY CHOICE!  Hopefully "Future Me" will listen.

I must never forget!!!

P.S.  I should mention, on a serious note, that I am very grateful that my body has the ability to make babies.  I'm grateful for all five of my pregnancies.  I realize there are women dying to experience what I'm complaining about.  All I'm saying is, now that I've experienced it (almost) five times, I don't want to make it six.

Book Review: The Classics

My neighbor Lisa and I started a "Classics" Book Club.  (She wanted a book club, I wanted "classics" so as to avoid the typical trashy modern book club selections.  I could write a whole post about modern books I've hated and am still mad I read, but I'll spare you.)

Anyway, I want to list a few of the books we've read so far, plus a few I've read on my own.  Here goes:  (Book club ones get *)

"Bleak House" by Charles Dickens:  While still living in Japan, my sister J-Bird sent me The BBC mini-series version of "Bleak House" on DVD.  Doug and I both got really into it and it made me want to read the book.  Which I loved.  I was glad, however, that I watched the mini-series first because it made it much easier to keep track of all the characters.

"The Woman in White" by Wilkie Collins
I love mysteries, I love nineteenth century British literature.  Loved it.

*"East of Eden" by John Steinbeck
Steinbeck became one of my favorite authors in High School.  (Loved "Winter of Our Discontent".)  But I hadn't read anything of his for a long time.  Super glad Lisa picked "East of Eden".  I loved everything about it.  I don't know why, but Steinbeck is about the only author who can wax poetic and philosophical  about landscapes and cityscapes and not bore me.  Although under critical observation the book isn't perfect, I still loved it!
(P.S.  I've never read "Grapes of Wrath" and I did NOT like "Of Mice and Men".)

*"The Importance of Being Earnest" and "An Ideal Husband" by Oscar Wilde
These are both plays, both short, and both hilarious.  Plus they have great BBC movies to go with them.  Highly recommend.
(Read "The Picture of Dorian Gray" a few years back.  It's also pretty good if you're into exploring the moral implications of Hedonism. )

*"Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo
Here's the deal.  Doug and I saw the play years ago while still living in SLC and liked it.  When the movie came out, we saw it and loved it.    After seeing the movie, I read the book and...mostly liked it.  But I didn't LOVE it!
Here's why:  Holy crap Hugo, can we just stick to the plot and forget the super-boring historical asides that go on for pages and pages and pages and don't advance the storyline at all?!?!?!?!?

Honestly, the details about the Paris sewer systems and how sewage should be pumped back into the city to fertilize the crops---were just way too much for me.  Same with the description of the Battle of Waterloo.  And many other long-winded descriptions of Parisian social ills.  TOO MUCH DIGRESSION!  (And coming from me, that's saying something.)

My un-researched theory is that the point of the book was to advance those theories and philosophies to the Parisians--with the story of Jean Valjean being secondary to make the boring stuff go down easier.  Any thoughts from those who've read it?  Am I way off?  Why else would he muck up a perfectly good story line with sewage details?!?

Here was my one other disappointment.  Marius has got to be the most lame, over-rated, self-indulgent wuss in the whole history of literature.  Seriously dude!  Get a job!  Grow up!  Talk to your Grandpa!  Sorry.  I know that's not a popular opinion, but he really bugged me.  If you've ever seen the movie, just stick with that version of him--he's a little more manly.  Oh, and if you haven't read the book and are planning to?  Find a good abridged version!!!

"Vanity Fair" by William Makepeace Thackeray.  I really liked this one.  It isn't the best book ever written but the plot definitely kept me turning pages and I read it pretty fast.  It had sort of an annoying character, but she (finally!) pulled it together in the end.   Looking forward to watching the mini-series.

"A Room with a View" by E.M. Forster.  I watched the 80's film version of this (with Helena Bonham Carter) in high school and loved it but just got around to reading the book.  Turns out, they're very similar.  The dialog in the movie is taken from the book almost word for word. (And it's a short book so they fit most of it in!)  So actually, reading the book didn't add too much like it usually does when you read the book second.
But I still really liked it and I just forced Doug to watch the movie with me so I could see it again.  He did NOT approve of the nudie skinny-dipping pond scene though I tried my hardest to make him see it in a humorous light.   He also thought the movie was very boring and started checking sport scores on the Internet about 20 minutes in.  I thought the movie did have some rather awkward 80's moments, but still feel it holds up for the most part after all these years.  (The movie is unrated so I can't be blamed for watching the (BRIEF) r-rated content.  Or at least, I couldn't be blamed the FIRST time I watched it.  Book is G-rated, btw.)

(P.S.  I read "A Passage to India" by Forster a few years ago and found it pretty darn boring.  Like Les Mis, I think it was meant to be a commentary on a current social problem.  In this case; Anglo-Indian relations.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the story line just didn't do it for me.)

So, any thoughts for me?  Agree?  Disagree?  Have you read any classics lately that you highly recommend?!?

Stuff Happens

Ya know how I said I was going to be better about updating my blog and then I proceeded to not post for months?  Well...
Stuff happens.
Like unplanned pregnancy.
And then, ya know, the inevitable puking and sleeping, and yaking and more sleeping and crankiness and ralphing...

(I think I've made my point about the throwing-up, yes?)

Now, I don't want to give a wrong impression.  It's not that we didn't want another kid.  We did.
We do.
It's just that...we were trying to decide if we should just roll the dice and try again, (not my first or second or third choice) do in-vitro fertilization with sex selection to guarantee a girl, or adopt a girl.  We had just decided we needed to really start to pray about it and figure out what to do.
That was Tuesday.
Wednesday I got suspicious of my "stomach flu" and took a pregnancy test.
It wasn't stomach flu.

The test registered positive before I'd even set the thing down on the counter to wait the two minute wait time.



So we're pregnant.  And it's probably going to be a boy.
But we're okay with that.
Because obviously, we make super cute little boys.
But still.  Five boys.  Woah.
Pray for me.

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Post Edit:
It IS a boy!

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Post Script:
We're currently in the market to adopt a baby girl due around October 1 that would be raised as a twin to a baby boy and have four older brothers.
Seriously people.  Help a girl out!!!

Gray-Gray's Birthday

Gray had his birthday on a Friday and this and since the boys don't have school Friday's, (Charter School home school day) and Daddy happened to have the day off, we all went to the S.D. Wild Animal Park.    We had a fun day and at the end Gray got to pick a stuffed animal for a present.  (Except he wouldn't cooperate and kept drifting over to the cheap plastic toys so finally Doug picked a Cheetah for him so we could just go home for-the-love!)
ANYWAY...!  Highlights included Wallaby up-close, Baby Gorilla, and Butterfly Exhibit.  It was a fun day.

Gabey was full of questions.

Well hello!

The baby was playing in the mote and was hard to see but he came up to taunt his family a few times.

Sammy would not leave until a butterfly landed on him.  Finally, I broke the rules and picked one up and stuck it on his hand.  Then another one came over, landed on top of the first one and they both flew off.

Baby bat.  Doug uses pictures like this to torture his Bat-hating mother.  Very mean of him.

Since this was his third birthday, (odd year) he didn't qualify for a "friend" party.  Instead he got to share a "family" party with his cousin Ashlin who turned 17 the day before he turned 3.  Ashlin is his favorite babysitter so he was okay with it!  

(Fun fact: they would share a birthday had Gray been born in the states.  But since he was born in Japan, his birthday is the day after hers.) 

As an added bonus, my sister Karie was in town with her family so they all got to come too.

We had a big party for them at our pool with Costco pizza and cake.  Of course, we had our neighbors the L's come over too, cause they're practically like family.  All in all, it was a fun day with our cute little tyrant.  

Three candles for Gray, seventeen for Ash!

Looking Back:

Lucky Baby got to go to Australia while brothers stayed home.

Big in Japan

First bath from Grandma Fae

Just chillin' in Hawaii with some turtles!

What I get for leaving out the lunch stuff.

At Daddy's new office in California!

Daddy's Mascot

Tahoe for Thanksgiving

At the beach

"Just hold me every single second Mom!!!"

In Mommy's old t-shirt

Chubbiest baby of them all

Newborn-9 pounder

Don't mess!

Faezer

My mom died nine days ago, March 21st at 12:18 a.m.

When my brother Brandon was a teenager, Faezer could frequently be heard saying she would die of aggravation.  And she did.  I think the leukemia, multiple strokes, and recently diagnosed diabetes and bone cancer were extremely aggravating.  (She also used to joke that she wanted her tomb-stone to say "I told you I was sick!"  She was!)

The night she died, all five of her kids were with her around her bed.  Her husband of 5.5 years, John, and my sister-in-law Christina were also there.

I was lucky enough to have arrived in Utah the Sunday before she died which was her last semi-coherent day.  My sister living in Romania also arrived on Sunday so my mom got to see all of us and knew we were all there with her.  The same night, five of her siblings drove from all over Utah to see her.  The sixth sibling in California got to see her via Skype.  There was a lot of singing, and a lot of kissing her on the forehead.

Over the next few days, one of us was with her almost every minute.  We sang her a million songs:  lullabies, hymns, primary songs, and Anne Murray.  Sunday she was able to sing along in perfect harmony.  By Monday she could only hum a little.

The funeral was held Saturday the 23rd.
Brandon gave the Eulogy and Uncle Duane (Mom's baby brother) and the bishop also spoke.  I sang with my siblings, "You Are My Sunshine", and mom's siblings sang "Abide with Me Tis Eventide".

It was extremely sweet to see so many friends--old and new-- and family members attend.  It was a great party and I know she was there enjoying it with us.  You could just feel the love people had for her radiating through the room.

It is pretty much universally acknowledged that my mom was an angel incarnate.  She made everyone around her feel loved, admired, and appreciated.  The funeral was a testament of that.

We buried her ashes Monday the 25th.
The grandkids released white balloons with notes for Grandma in heaven.
Everyone who wanted one got a piece of bubblegum in her honor.
We sang her one last lullaby--"Tell Me Why"--a family favorite.

I'm really really going to miss her.  But considering her health history, I'm extremely grateful I got to have her for 35 years.  Just wish she could be here to meet baby boy #5.  But I know she'll see him off with a kiss in heaven.

Love you Mommy!!!

Hooray for Friends!!!

Two days after Christmas, we got a really cool present.  A visit from our great friends Tami and Wes and kids.  They were on their way from Argentina (where they went after Monterey where they went after Japan) to Germany where they are for the next few years.  We were thrilled to have them as visitors for a few weeks.  I could make a whole book of the visit but here are a few of the highlights:

Many treats, many shows, many smiles

Wes and Tami

Fondue New Year's Eve Party

Entertaining kids at Art Soup while Dad's go biking and then surfing and then kayaking

Point Loma

Just Wes being awesome

Lots of fun at the beach

Camille and Max playin' it cool

Lots of late night Settlers

Everyone loved Cutie Jocelyn

BFF's.  Used to be engaged, but Madeleine wants to see other people now.

A very versatile Ped. Dentist 

Lots of dance parties

We had tons of fun with the H family and are hoping to see them again soon in GERMANY and or Paris!!!  (Maybe next spring if we can save up enough!)

Love you guys!!!  :)