Well, it's been a very very long week. Sorry to leave everyone hanging. (It was only sort of intentional!) The good news (for me) is that the end is in sight and Doug is on his way home!*
The OTHER good news for Doug (and all of us) is that there are a few great job prospects in California. It looks like we WONT have to move into a cardboard box on the beach after all. (That was my Plan B.)
It's going to be a few more weeks, though, until any decisions are made. Sorry I can't be more specific. (Trust me, I really wish I could.)
In other news, if you can't get ahold of me this coming week, it's because I'll be in self-imposed isolation at the local Funny Farm. I'm hoping to get a few naps in and go at least one whole hour without having to put anyone in "time out". Hopefully the other inmates aren't as violent and naughty as my children! (Wish me luck.)
And now I'm off to bed.
Signed,
Emily Driven-Crazy-By-Her-Children Dub
*After having him gone for less than one week, I (once again) have an even greater appreciation and respect for my friends with deployed husbands. How they manage their lives so well as single parents is beyond me!
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 25, 2011
Doug Day 3
Day 3 (My Thursday, Your Wednesday)
Dashing D-Dub,
Should we just leave everyone hanging about your job status?
Yeah, I think so too.
See you tomorrow!
Love,
Em
Dashing D-Dub,
Should we just leave everyone hanging about your job status?
Yeah, I think so too.
See you tomorrow!
Love,
Em
Feb 23, 2011
Dear Douglas Diary Day Dos
Day 2 (My Wednesday. Your Tuesday)
Dear Douglas,
Yesterday is a bit of a blur. The problem is that it started at 6:30 a.m. when some blurry child dumped crying Gray on top of me. I know I was out of bed by 7:30 (I clearly remember being upset by this fact) and the day just kept going from there!
I must have been running on sheer adrenalin, because I never got a nap, and I actually felt pretty good most of the day. Except, of course, when I got to hear about the gorgeous warm weather in San Diego, your trip to Target, and your plans to go to "Pipes" for breakfast without me!
Bah!!!
Mid-morning I did the grocery shopping. All was going smoothly until I realized I'd left the stupid money envelope home. Stupid stupid stupid stupid Dave Ramsey!
(Yes, all the kid voices in my head are screaming "We don't say STUPID!!!")
LUCKILY, Miss Amanda (not Jones)* was also doing her shopping and agreed to hang with the kids and cart while I sped home to retrieve it. That wonderful sainted woman! That could have put a serious damper on my naturally cheery outlook to have to abandon a cart full of food and take both boys home with me to get the ENVELOPES! (Why oh why can't I have just one tiny credit card for emergencies???)
Anyhoo, around 1700, Janelle came over - again - and saved the day. (night.) She stayed with Gray and Sam while I took Max and Gabe to basketball. So, it turns out, this was Gabe's last practice. Luckily I had the camera because it was HI.LAR.I.OUS! They had a "game" and I was laughing the whole time. Usually when a kid would get the ball, he or she would tuck it under their arm and just book it across the "court" to their basket and dunk it. All the kids ran together in a big herd except for the two or three always wandering off in the wrong direction.
Gabe got frustrated at never getting the ball and--like a little slump-shouldered Charlie Brown--sulked off the court a few times. But then he DID get the ball--TWICE -- and made two "shots"! (Slam dunks, actually. He's quite tall compared to many of the other kids out there--and the basket.)
It was pretty darn cute. And I got ample photo documentation to prove it.
Somehow when I got home, I managed to get the little 'uns in bed and did some more Percy reading with the big 'uns.
And then I was fading fast.
I watched some old "House" episodes.
I made myself some Peppermint herbal tea.
I just kept trying to stay up a liiii-ttle bit longer.
I kept thinking "HOW can I go to bed when Doug will be waking up and going to an interview in a few short hours? I should just wait up until HE wakes up and talk to him before he leaves!"
I lasted until 2300.
My body was shutting down involuntarily.
So after a fervent prayer on your behalf, I went.
And the bed was cold again.
And that was my day.
xoxoxo,
Your Sleepy Wife
*See "Some Kind of Wonderful" for reference! I have that song stuck in my head now!
Dear Douglas,
Yesterday is a bit of a blur. The problem is that it started at 6:30 a.m. when some blurry child dumped crying Gray on top of me. I know I was out of bed by 7:30 (I clearly remember being upset by this fact) and the day just kept going from there!
I must have been running on sheer adrenalin, because I never got a nap, and I actually felt pretty good most of the day. Except, of course, when I got to hear about the gorgeous warm weather in San Diego, your trip to Target, and your plans to go to "Pipes" for breakfast without me!
Bah!!!
Mid-morning I did the grocery shopping. All was going smoothly until I realized I'd left the stupid money envelope home. Stupid stupid stupid stupid Dave Ramsey!
(Yes, all the kid voices in my head are screaming "We don't say STUPID!!!")
LUCKILY, Miss Amanda (not Jones)* was also doing her shopping and agreed to hang with the kids and cart while I sped home to retrieve it. That wonderful sainted woman! That could have put a serious damper on my naturally cheery outlook to have to abandon a cart full of food and take both boys home with me to get the ENVELOPES! (Why oh why can't I have just one tiny credit card for emergencies???)
Anyhoo, around 1700, Janelle came over - again - and saved the day. (night.) She stayed with Gray and Sam while I took Max and Gabe to basketball. So, it turns out, this was Gabe's last practice. Luckily I had the camera because it was HI.LAR.I.OUS! They had a "game" and I was laughing the whole time. Usually when a kid would get the ball, he or she would tuck it under their arm and just book it across the "court" to their basket and dunk it. All the kids ran together in a big herd except for the two or three always wandering off in the wrong direction.
Gabe got frustrated at never getting the ball and--like a little slump-shouldered Charlie Brown--sulked off the court a few times. But then he DID get the ball--TWICE -- and made two "shots"! (Slam dunks, actually. He's quite tall compared to many of the other kids out there--and the basket.)
It was pretty darn cute. And I got ample photo documentation to prove it.
Somehow when I got home, I managed to get the little 'uns in bed and did some more Percy reading with the big 'uns.
And then I was fading fast.
I watched some old "House" episodes.
I made myself some Peppermint herbal tea.
I just kept trying to stay up a liiii-ttle bit longer.
I kept thinking "HOW can I go to bed when Doug will be waking up and going to an interview in a few short hours? I should just wait up until HE wakes up and talk to him before he leaves!"
I lasted until 2300.
My body was shutting down involuntarily.
So after a fervent prayer on your behalf, I went.
And the bed was cold again.
And that was my day.
xoxoxo,
Your Sleepy Wife
*See "Some Kind of Wonderful" for reference! I have that song stuck in my head now!
Dear Douglas Diary
Day 1 (Tuesday)
Dear Douglas,
1300 - Welp, you're really gone! Today after dropping you off at the base airport, I drove home and I put Gsquared down for naps. Rose came over to give me my piano lesson during which the phone rang approximately 12 times. Sorry if 11 of those were you, bored, in the terminal.
After piano, I took the phone off the hook and collapsed on the couch for 50 minutes of sheer nap-time bliss. Ah, naps; How do I love thee?!
1445 - Thing 1 and Thing 2 came home from school. Of course their loud arrival woke Things 3 and 4 (respectively) and we started "My Day - Phase 2" together. Somehow 3 convinced 1 (who was in an extremely good mood! ???) to play outside with him while I fed Baby (4) a banana. And then an applesauce cup. And then nursed him. And then tried in vain to top him off with Cheerios. The child is turning into a bottomless pit. (I have serious concerns about our future grocery consumption!)
Of course; Little 2 disappeared to Chipmunks house the first time my back was turned and didn't come home until summoned at 1645.
1700 - Dinner was (boring) bean burritos followed by dessert: half a chapter of Percy Jackson (hard to read with the two little ones rampaging) out loud for Thing 1 and 2. Then I helped 'em with piano,
and then homework,
and then...FINALLY!...
Janelle arrived.
Bless her little red-headed heart!
I carpooled to the R.S. meeting with Roxy and Stacy -- where I went directly to the nursery, not passing go and not collecting $200. I've heard from several sources though, that the meeting upstairs was very helpful, interesting, and informative!
Here's to more Internet security and less p0r^, eh!?!
At least I got a piece of pie. (Not "the pie." Just pie.)
(BTW, the adorable little girls were in nursery and they were adorable. Also, like 78 other kids and 20 babies. Or maybe just two. It's kind of a blur.)
Of course, when I got home, I sat in the car talking to R for an extra hour so lucky Janelle got paid more.
But the house was spotless when I walked in so she was (is) worth every.single.penny. (And I paid her lots of 'em.)
By the time she left it was 2230 (that's 10:30 p.m. for you math inept civilians) and I should have gone straight to bed.
Buuuuut...You weren't up there pre-warming the bed!
What woulda been the point?
(Turns out: sleep.)
Instead, I went to the living room, watched two episodes of Community, read a million blog posts, and finally dragged my sorry self to bed at 2.
I fell asleep in the painfully cold bed wondering where in the sky you were and feeling guilty at my lack of meaningful scripture study. (I managed about 3 verses before the words blurred and my prayer may or may not have ended mid-sentence without a proper "Amen." Sigh.)
Anyway, that was my day. Yes, I know you neither want nor need the long version, but you know me: I'm a talker!
I miss you already!
And not just your tag-team child rearing assistance and warm-body-ness.
(Just for the record.)
--
More tomorrow...
xoxo
Dear Douglas,
1300 - Welp, you're really gone! Today after dropping you off at the base airport, I drove home and I put Gsquared down for naps. Rose came over to give me my piano lesson during which the phone rang approximately 12 times. Sorry if 11 of those were you, bored, in the terminal.
After piano, I took the phone off the hook and collapsed on the couch for 50 minutes of sheer nap-time bliss. Ah, naps; How do I love thee?!
1445 - Thing 1 and Thing 2 came home from school. Of course their loud arrival woke Things 3 and 4 (respectively) and we started "My Day - Phase 2" together. Somehow 3 convinced 1 (who was in an extremely good mood! ???) to play outside with him while I fed Baby (4) a banana. And then an applesauce cup. And then nursed him. And then tried in vain to top him off with Cheerios. The child is turning into a bottomless pit. (I have serious concerns about our future grocery consumption!)
Of course; Little 2 disappeared to Chipmunks house the first time my back was turned and didn't come home until summoned at 1645.
1700 - Dinner was (boring) bean burritos followed by dessert: half a chapter of Percy Jackson (hard to read with the two little ones rampaging) out loud for Thing 1 and 2. Then I helped 'em with piano,
and then homework,
and then...FINALLY!...
Janelle arrived.
Bless her little red-headed heart!
I carpooled to the R.S. meeting with Roxy and Stacy -- where I went directly to the nursery, not passing go and not collecting $200. I've heard from several sources though, that the meeting upstairs was very helpful, interesting, and informative!
Here's to more Internet security and less p0r^, eh!?!
At least I got a piece of pie. (Not "the pie." Just pie.)
(BTW, the adorable little girls were in nursery and they were adorable. Also, like 78 other kids and 20 babies. Or maybe just two. It's kind of a blur.)
Of course, when I got home, I sat in the car talking to R for an extra hour so lucky Janelle got paid more.
But the house was spotless when I walked in so she was (is) worth every.single.penny. (And I paid her lots of 'em.)
By the time she left it was 2230 (that's 10:30 p.m. for you math inept civilians) and I should have gone straight to bed.
Buuuuut...You weren't up there pre-warming the bed!
What woulda been the point?
(Turns out: sleep.)
Instead, I went to the living room, watched two episodes of Community, read a million blog posts, and finally dragged my sorry self to bed at 2.
I fell asleep in the painfully cold bed wondering where in the sky you were and feeling guilty at my lack of meaningful scripture study. (I managed about 3 verses before the words blurred and my prayer may or may not have ended mid-sentence without a proper "Amen." Sigh.)
Anyway, that was my day. Yes, I know you neither want nor need the long version, but you know me: I'm a talker!
I miss you already!
And not just your tag-team child rearing assistance and warm-body-ness.
(Just for the record.)
--
More tomorrow...
xoxo
Feb 18, 2011
Gray = Sunshine
Dear Baby Gray,
Now you're asleep, snoring into the baby monitor, and I'm left with a quite, seemingly kid-less (but messy) house. A house that wouldn't be the same without you, Baby Gray! So happy to have you!
Lot's of Love,
Mommy
Today you are approximately 10 months and 13 days old. Time flies in a house full of boys, eh? Since Big brother Gabe has been gone this morning (getting evaluated over at the school) I've had a lot of time to spend with you alone.
First, we had breakfast. Daddy left us yummy oatmeal with blended up dates and strawberries and apple chunks on top. You polished off your bowl full and then demanded more from my bowl (using the "all done" sign when you really meant "NOT ALL DONE!")
After that, you crawled around a little while I cleaned up. Your favorite thing to do is crawl past or over any sort of baby/kid toy and head straight for the nearest off-limits area. The open dishwasher (love to play with those knives) the open pantry (love to pull those large cans down onto your toes) the unsecured desk/computer area (Yes! to eating cords)
Without fail, whilst you go adventuring around the house, you'll find something to chew on. Not your binky--that will never do. It must be something forbidden: a silver gum wrapper, a glittery bouncy ball, a misplaced die from a game. Any sort of paper or trash will do in a pinch, but you also gravitate to anything small and hard that would be considered a choking hazard by your mother.
After your adventuring (and after I removed a gum wrapper, a glitter bouncy ball and a die from your mouth) you sat on my lap for some one-on-one time.
We played peek-a-boo, and pat-a-cake and worked on our signing ("more" and "all done"). We practiced saying Mamamamama (which came out sounding suspiciously like Dadadadadada) we gave kisses (I know you weren't trying to make me cry when you bit my cheek really really hard with your razor sharp teeth...seventeen times.) and cuddled and cooed and laughed.
Then you started getting restless and fussy and let me know in no uncertain terms that you'd like to eat and then sleep. Immediately and in that order. So I nursed you, and cuddled you, and tucked you into your crib under Grandma Fae's blankie. (Of course you immediately stood up, cried and reached for me, but we both know you didn't mean it.)
Lot's of Love,
Mommy
Feb 15, 2011
Sapporo Report
Listen, I could go on and on about our trip to Hokkaido (next island up) for the Sapporo Snow Festival. But you don't have time for that. Instead I'll just give you the high(and low)lights:
1. We saw some really cool, really large snow and ice sculptures:
2. There was a blizzard:
3. Gabe got lost for 20 minutes shortly after striking this model pose in the snow:
4. I bought myself a Valentine:
(I don't have a picture so just imagine red, knee-high fuzzy socks with white hearts, made out of the same ultra soft material as the following:)
5. I bought Doug a Valentine:
(Just kidding. I bought the socks, but not the ultra soft and fuzzy short spats.)
6. There were absolutely no snow globes to be found in the whole city.
7. There WAS, however, a PEACOCK!
1. We saw some really cool, really large snow and ice sculptures:
2. There was a blizzard:
 |
| Baby Gray was NOT a fan |
 |
| Lost child ALMOST causes international incident |
(Doug found him with a policeman across the street. I was busy trying to get a Swedish ambassador to translate for me. It wasn't my favorite moment.)
4. I bought myself a Valentine:
(I don't have a picture so just imagine red, knee-high fuzzy socks with white hearts, made out of the same ultra soft material as the following:)
5. I bought Doug a Valentine:
6. There were absolutely no snow globes to be found in the whole city.
7. There WAS, however, a PEACOCK!
Feb 12, 2011
Sunday Thought - Love and Marriage
I'm very sad when I say I know far too many people who divorced last year, are in the process of getting divorced, or are planning to divorce. It is extremely heart breaking.
Therefore, I would like to announce to all of my friends and family that I will accept no divorces this year. You're just going to have to stick it out until next year. My psyche can't take it.
This year you're just gonna have to STAY IN LOVE!!!
That is all.
"Scripturally, the Lord is very clear with us on this doctrine--you can't "fall out of love," because love is something you decide. Agency plays a fundamental role in our relationships with one another. This being true, we must make the conscious decision that we will love our spouse and family with all our heart, soul, and mind; that we will build, not "fall into," strong, loving marriages and families. "Don't just pray to marry the one you love. Instead, pray to love the one you marry."
(Elder Lynn G. Robbins, "Agency and Love in Marriage", Ensign 2000)
Now have a happy Valentines Day!
(That's an order!)
Feb 11, 2011
Dear Emily Matchar,
Dear Emily Matchar,
Let's just get one thing straight: Mormon Mommy Blogs and Mormons in general are really super-duper cool. You are right to love and admire us via your addiction to Mormon Mommy Blogs.
BUT, (and I know this may blow your bloggity mind) we are not all the same. And our blogs are not all the same.
You need to add a few more "Mormon Mommies" to your Reader to get a more well-balanced view of Mormon's.
I suggest you start with mine!
It will prove that not all Mormon's take professional quality pictures, buy vintage baby clothes, whip up adorable crafts daily and have husbands who wear plaid. (My husband wears BDU's and scrubs alternately.)
(However, it MAY confirm that all Mormon's DO love Costco and Target. But really, can you blame us?)
Also, many of our women are "overeducated" (just not me) and some of us can't cook. (Sort of me.) I could go on and on contradicting most of your points but I wont. Suffice it to say, we're not all alike, we're not all perfect, and we're not all happy automatons. BUT, we are pretty dang awesome in general and our religion has a lot to do with that.
Just wanted to get that out.
Sincerely,
Emily Dub
P.S. Quit being such a huge WUSS and invite the missionaries in for Hot Chocolate. They wont bite you and they'll clear up many of the mis-conceptions you have about our religion. (And I promise they wont force you into the nearest baptismal font...as long as you don't get too close.)
P.P.S. If you are NOT Emily Matchar and have no idea what I'm talking about, see this article.
Let's just get one thing straight: Mormon Mommy Blogs and Mormons in general are really super-duper cool. You are right to love and admire us via your addiction to Mormon Mommy Blogs.
BUT, (and I know this may blow your bloggity mind) we are not all the same. And our blogs are not all the same.
You need to add a few more "Mormon Mommies" to your Reader to get a more well-balanced view of Mormon's.
I suggest you start with mine!
It will prove that not all Mormon's take professional quality pictures, buy vintage baby clothes, whip up adorable crafts daily and have husbands who wear plaid. (My husband wears BDU's and scrubs alternately.)
 |
| Some Mormon babies have snotty noses! YIKES! |
Also, many of our women are "overeducated" (just not me) and some of us can't cook. (Sort of me.) I could go on and on contradicting most of your points but I wont. Suffice it to say, we're not all alike, we're not all perfect, and we're not all happy automatons. BUT, we are pretty dang awesome in general and our religion has a lot to do with that.
Just wanted to get that out.
Sincerely,
Emily Dub
P.S. Quit being such a huge WUSS and invite the missionaries in for Hot Chocolate. They wont bite you and they'll clear up many of the mis-conceptions you have about our religion. (And I promise they wont force you into the nearest baptismal font...as long as you don't get too close.)
P.P.S. If you are NOT Emily Matchar and have no idea what I'm talking about, see this article.
Feb 8, 2011
So I Say It's My Birthday!
It's my BIRTHDAY today. I'm thirty-three. Three is my lucky number.
Therefore, this birthday should be twice as lucky, right?
Or three times?
Thirty-three times?
I'm not great at math, but lets just say this is a very lucky birthday.
And I'm dreaming big.
First, I respectfully request 33 comments on this blog post. More would be fine, but 33 minimum. Not sure what to write? Let me help. How about "Three (or 33) things I love about Emily or Emily's Blog."
Be creative. No rush.
Also, I'd like three different kinds of chocolate.
I'll start things off with some Hot Chocolate. We just got home from the Sapporo Snow Festival and I'm still cold. (Also, I need something to help me through the 33 loads of laundry I have to do today.)
Doug will have to rustle up the other two treats.
Lastly, I'd like a three hour nap. I'm not really sure where I'll fit this in, but I have to try. I suppose I could shoot for a 33 minute nap. That might be more doable. Also, reading time is an acceptable substitution for sleeping time. But only because I'm in the middle of a good book.
Now I'm off to work on making some of my birthday dreams come true. Next stop, my couch a mug of H.C. You and Doug can take care of the rest!
Happy Birthday to ME!
*Just as I was about to push "Publish Post" there was a knock on the door. It was my friend Tami delivering a can of Stephen's Chocolate Cinnamon Gourmet Hot Cocoa. I KNEW it!!! Birthday dreams really DO come true!!!!!!!
Therefore, this birthday should be twice as lucky, right?
Or three times?
Thirty-three times?
I'm not great at math, but lets just say this is a very lucky birthday.
And I'm dreaming big.
First, I respectfully request 33 comments on this blog post. More would be fine, but 33 minimum. Not sure what to write? Let me help. How about "Three (or 33) things I love about Emily or Emily's Blog."
Be creative. No rush.
Also, I'd like three different kinds of chocolate.
I'll start things off with some Hot Chocolate. We just got home from the Sapporo Snow Festival and I'm still cold. (Also, I need something to help me through the 33 loads of laundry I have to do today.)
Doug will have to rustle up the other two treats.
Lastly, I'd like a three hour nap. I'm not really sure where I'll fit this in, but I have to try. I suppose I could shoot for a 33 minute nap. That might be more doable. Also, reading time is an acceptable substitution for sleeping time. But only because I'm in the middle of a good book.
Now I'm off to work on making some of my birthday dreams come true. Next stop, my couch a mug of H.C. You and Doug can take care of the rest!
 |
| Who could say no to this face??? |
*Just as I was about to push "Publish Post" there was a knock on the door. It was my friend Tami delivering a can of Stephen's Chocolate Cinnamon Gourmet Hot Cocoa. I KNEW it!!! Birthday dreams really DO come true!!!!!!!
Feb 3, 2011
New Year, Same Me
So, I always have this vague, fuzzy goal to "exercise more". Basically, since I exercise never, "more" could technically mean one time. Today I met my goal. I exercised more today than I have in months. (I was a little motivated to do crunches after having Gray, but as soon as I lost weight, I gave those up for Lent.)
Anyway, Doug suggested maybe I could go to the gym once a week while he's home for lunch. I couldn't really think of any reasonable objections. I mean, we all know mornings wont work (for the obvious reason that I'm asleep) and nights are filled with dinner, putting boys to bed and USA shows or, alternately, Pottery Class.
But lunch? The only thing I'm generally doing at lunch is eating lunch...and day dreaming about a nap. Both of which--turns out--can be delayed.
So then it was a matter of motivating me to actually do it. We all know (we married folk) that there is one sure way to bribe your husband to do whatever you want him to do...
And that is by promising to put all four boys in bed on any given night. Teeth, scriptures, prayers, stories, cuddles, tuck-ins...the works. It's a big job. Pulls lots of weight. (You didn't think I was going to say something else, did you?)
Unfortunately, the same bribe doesn't work for me. As Doug brain-stormed, I threw out some suggestions:
"Ice Cream party?!"
"No."
"Ice Cream Sundae?"
"Nuh uh."
"Single scoop ice cream cone?"
"Nope."
"Pulling out one of your teeth with pliers?" (Why should he get to have all the fun!?)
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Obviously he didn't like my suggestions.
None-the-less, even without a bribe in place, we put a date on the calendar.
Next problem: "But if I go to the gym, whatdoIdo? Just wander in to any old room and start "working out"? (whatever that means!) Do I have to check in? Are certain rooms off-limits? Do I have to go through a locker room? I'm scared! It's scary! Don't make me go!!!"
Solution: Healthy Friend Janeen. She teaches SPIN at the gym. She goes to the gym of her own free will. SHE would take me and initiate me into the strange, sweaty/stinky world of the physically fit.
So today was the day. Janeen brought her two little kiddies here for Doug to watch and we set off. She told me she'd help me and it wouldn't even be scary. After a brief tour and a "warm-up"(whatever! That warm-up was HARD) she decided to introduce me to the TRX ropes. (straps?) We walked into a room where a smallish, very ripped man was beating the crap out of a punching bag.
It was scary.
I was scared.
I could envision him killing me with a single blow to the throat.
I persevered and did the work out anyway.
Just a few cinchy little exercises. 5 reps each. No problemo. This "working out" stuff is a breeze.
Thirty minutes later, we were walking out of the gym and my legs were already a little jiggly.
Now, hours later, sitting calmly at the computer, my whole body seems to be gently (but painfully) vibrating.
I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be rough day.
I'm going to go take a nap.
But lunch? The only thing I'm generally doing at lunch is eating lunch...and day dreaming about a nap. Both of which--turns out--can be delayed.
So then it was a matter of motivating me to actually do it. We all know (we married folk) that there is one sure way to bribe your husband to do whatever you want him to do...
And that is by promising to put all four boys in bed on any given night. Teeth, scriptures, prayers, stories, cuddles, tuck-ins...the works. It's a big job. Pulls lots of weight. (You didn't think I was going to say something else, did you?)
Unfortunately, the same bribe doesn't work for me. As Doug brain-stormed, I threw out some suggestions:
"Ice Cream party?!"
"No."
"Ice Cream Sundae?"
"Nuh uh."
"Single scoop ice cream cone?"
"Nope."
"Pulling out one of your teeth with pliers?" (Why should he get to have all the fun!?)
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Obviously he didn't like my suggestions.
None-the-less, even without a bribe in place, we put a date on the calendar.
Next problem: "But if I go to the gym, whatdoIdo? Just wander in to any old room and start "working out"? (whatever that means!) Do I have to check in? Are certain rooms off-limits? Do I have to go through a locker room? I'm scared! It's scary! Don't make me go!!!"
Solution: Healthy Friend Janeen. She teaches SPIN at the gym. She goes to the gym of her own free will. SHE would take me and initiate me into the strange, sweaty/stinky world of the physically fit.
So today was the day. Janeen brought her two little kiddies here for Doug to watch and we set off. She told me she'd help me and it wouldn't even be scary. After a brief tour and a "warm-up"(whatever! That warm-up was HARD) she decided to introduce me to the TRX ropes. (straps?) We walked into a room where a smallish, very ripped man was beating the crap out of a punching bag.
It was scary.
I was scared.
I could envision him killing me with a single blow to the throat.
I persevered and did the work out anyway.
Just a few cinchy little exercises. 5 reps each. No problemo. This "working out" stuff is a breeze.
Thirty minutes later, we were walking out of the gym and my legs were already a little jiggly.
Now, hours later, sitting calmly at the computer, my whole body seems to be gently (but painfully) vibrating.
I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be rough day.
I'm going to go take a nap.
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