I honestly don't know why Doug thought I needed it.
Maybe it's because since my convalescence, my skin tone is 4 shades lighter than my make-up. (And I keep whining about it.)
Maybe it's because my voice completely disappeared on Monday (yes, my birthday) and is only half back leaving me sounding like Golem. (I've been doing a lot of tongue clicking, snapping, clapping, and mock-signing to communicate this week...My Precious!)
Maybe it's because I have no energy (WHY? BECAUSE IT'S BLOODY FEBRUARY AND IT'S COLD AND GRAY AND BLEAK HERE!!!) and have been skulking around the house complaining about having no energy. (And it's possible I keep whining about this too.)
Maybe it's because I look like this:
(Don't ever accuse me of putting only flattering pictures of myself on this blog! Take a gander at THIS one.)
(And yes. This is my mousy washed-out dishwater natural hair color. HAPPY NOW, DOUG?!?!?!?!)
Anyway, like I said, I don't know why Doug called The Health and Wellness Center (called The Hawk) but he did. And he made me an appointment to sit in a message chair under a "natural light" lamp for an hour.
So, being the dutiful wife I am, I went over this afternoon while he was home for lunch. I was ushered into a small room and told I could take off my coat. Then the lady (in Camo) set The Light for 30 minutes, adjusted the stereo, and closed the door. I sat down in the big black leather chair and pushed the button for "Full Body Treatment". And oh boy, did I get a full body treatment. Those chairs are miracle machines!
You know what I'm talking about right? The chairs on display in the front of The Sharper Image? The ones you're not allowed to sit in if you're prego cause they might cause Excessively Jiggled and Pummeled Baby Syndrome? (Called EJPBS for short.)
Yeah. That's the one.
It's heaven. It's THE CHAIR of my dreams.
It actually feels like someone is giving you a really great massage!
{Insert a mental image of a big-strapping-Swedish-Masseur-with-his-shirt-off here. But don't try to find a picture of one on-line. You wont like the results of your Google Search.}
I mean, -like- even better than the average really great massage. (Possibly even better than the massages I give!)
Anyway, I played with a few different options...set it to "lower back", "legs and hips" and "seat" (couldn't resist.) and finally to "bedtime". After 30 minutes the Natural Light-light clicked off. Sometime after that, THE CHAIR finished it's bedtime ritual and clicked off. Unfortunately, I missed the ending. I was already asleep.
At 12:00 sharp the broadcast strains of Edelweiss trickled in through the window (from off-base) and I snapped back to reality barely making it home in time for Doug to get back to work.
All this for free.
Chalk up another benefit to being in the military! (Can I get one of those HOO-AH yell things here? No? That's okay.)
The best part?
When I came home I looked like this:
Yep. It gave me big lips and dimples.
That Doug is one smart cookie.
