I've Strayed...

I've been cheating on you, dear Blog-with-the-Unpronounceable-Name! (What, you thought I could speak French? HA!)

Yes, that's right. There's a new blog in my life. It's just a baby and only has a few posts, but I'm hoping it will make all of my wildest dreams come true! Here it is: http://www.liveinwarwick.blogspot.com/.

As I'm sure you all know someone hoping to relocate to "Lil Rhody", please refer them to this site!

Raising Cain. I mean Sammy!

You may remember a few weeks back when I wrote about Sammy biting me (viciously, I might add) and I asked for your help and advice. WELL, don't let it hurt your feelings, but you were all worthless.
So a day or two after writing the post I asked Sam's preschool teacher for advice. (He goes 3 afternoons a week.) She referred me to the school director who, upon seeing me, said "You look like you need a hug!" (I did.)
I gave her the 411. (Do people even say that anymore?) I told her that most of our battles revolved around dressing for school. I told her Sam doesn't like getting dressed and when I try to dress him, he bites me. (Did I say "viciously" already?)

"OH!" she said "Don't battle him to get dressed!"

Me: "Okay, but he won't do it on his own."

Her: "That's okay! Don't fight him on it!"

Me: "He'll be coming to school naked."

Her: "That's okay! Bring his clothes along! He'll have to sit on his cubby until he decides to get dressed. He wont be able to participate until he's fully clothed."

Next day:
Sam woke up and took off his p.j.'s and Pull-up. Fortunately, he let me put underwear on him. I asked him if he wanted to get dressed and he said "No." A little later I asked if he wanted to get dressed for school. He said "No." I told him he'd have to go in his underwear and that it would be cold. Still "No."

Time to go to school. It's freezing outside. Sam choose not to get dressed and walked to the car in his shoes and snappy's.

We get to school. "Would you like to put your clothes on now Sammy?"

"NOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Would you like your coat on? It's very cold!"

"yes."

"Okay! Let's go!"

So we started the long walk up to his preschool; through the parking lot, up the long walkway and into the building.

One dad walking towards us looked down at Sam and let out a loud guffaw.

Here was Sammy, walking serenely towards school with his open coat showcasing his tummy and Thomas undies. Once we arrived I handed him off to the teacher at the door. She couldn't help it. She started laughing.

Sam glared.

The other teacher came to the door and she started laughing and said "Saah-mmy! Whaddaya doooing??? Wheh ahh ya clothes???"

Sam looked embarrassed.

He tried to hide behind me and I could tell he was getting a little embarrassed and flustered. Luckily, his favorite TA "Miss Dee" came to the rescue. She asked if he wanted to get dressed and when he--sheepishly--said "yes", she whisked him to a corner at the back of the room and helped him put his clothes on.

He hasn't bitten me since and is usually happy to get dressed in the mornings. (If his pants aren't too big, too small, too cold, or too scratchy.)

THE END

Next time on "Adventures in Child Rearing" learn about how one mom got her recalcitrant 3-year-old to buckle up by slamming her brakes on hard and repeatedly!

Now for your viewing pleasure, please watch this short clip of Sammy being photographed by Max. (Max didn't know the digital camera was set to "video".)

Gabe Has Hair!

And I can prove it...

Important Stuff

First, I'm going to start out by saying that Doug's blog output is putting mine to shame. He's done practically a post per day since we got home from Florida*. Of course, my blog will always be, like, a thousand times better, but that's neither here nor there. Oh, and did I mention he tried to tarnish my sorta-good name by making me seem cold and heartless? Well he did. On February 15th, to be precise. (That quote was taken totally out of context, by-the-way.)

B. All three of my kids have been sick for the last week. It started with Sammy getting a fever on the plane ride home. It's been downhill ever since. High Fevers, (104) coughs, congestion, puke and snot, missed sleep, excessive whining and tears. It's been a slightly he!!ish week. I blame the germy little cousins we saw in Florida**. All of them.

Next: In preparation for listing our house on the market, we're sprucing things up around here a bit. While we were out of town, we had our hard wood floors refinished. Yesterday Doug started the process of replacing the kitchen counter tops. Tomorrow, I'll be painting trim all day. It's loads of fun, but we can't do it all ourselves.
That why I'd like to share this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with you!!! If you're a professional home "stager" or decorator, you're cordially invited (for a limited time) for a
FREE, week long visit to the beautiful New England seashore!!!*** Room and Board will be provided, as well as Minivan usage and Professional Tour Guidance. All in exchange for a small smackeral of decorating advice and assistance.
Act NOW! This offer wont last!!!

Fourthly; Here at the Dub house, we have a *general/flexible* "No T.V. except for Sunday Shows on Sunday" rule. Doug thinks 'Nature Shows' are the exception. I think Nature Shows are ALL about s.e.x and violence and that Cooking Shows, Home Decorating Shows, Hallmark Channel Movies, Fox News and Musicals should be the exception. What do you think?

That's all for now. If I think of any more important stuff, you'll be the first to know.

*I made "Florida" orange to make you think of Florida Orange Juice. See how clever and subtle I am?
**I didn't change the color of this "Florida" because you're supposed to be focused solely on my miserable life right now. Not your beverage preferences. You're so selfish.
***No purchase necessary. Airfair, travel expenses, liquor costs, Valium, ear-plugs, and spending money not included. Professional Tour Guide is not actually a Professional. Must be 16 years or older, non-creepy, willing to also babysit while you're here, (just for an evening!?!) and a U.S. citizen to qualify. Actual decorating expertise not all that important.

One way or another, it's all about dressing up.

It was my freshman year of college and I was living at The Glenwood in Provo. As Valentines Day approached, my friends and roommates and I contemplated what do do in our boyfriend-less state.

I'm pretty sure it was Christina who made the suggestion the day before V-day. A friend of Malia, (Or was she a friend of Joanna?) I envied her petiteness and the fact that she could pull-off white blonde hair in a pixie cut with funky glasses. Anyway, she suggested we hold a Halloween Party...the very antithesis of the gooey/lovey/hearty-farty affairs planned by many of our more lucky-in-love neighbors.

We agreed immediately and plans (and phone-calls) were made. First, we had to decide on costumes. Luckily, my closet was filled with thrift-store finds including a vintage lace old lady dress with matching shoes (my costume), a florescent green disco dress with matching hooker boots (worn by Rama) and various polyester work shirts with patches baring names like Steve and Ric. (Worn by other roommates.) Once arrangements were made and costumes settled on, we decided we need to increase the number of invited guests.

(Before the party)

Now, The Glenwood was layed out with all the guys apartments on one side, and all the girls apartments on the other. We, of course, went immediately to the guys apartments and started knocking on doors of complete strangers. The guys who had plans were getting ready to leave or were already gone, but we were surprised to find so many stragglers. Guys with no dates, sitting around either alone or with a roommate, watching t.v. in the dark.

We burst into their apartments and invited them to the party starting in only an hour.

Malia's costume was a string Christmas lights and after Ang and I gave our pitch, she'd ask politely, "Mind if I light up?" and proceed to plug herself into the nearest outlet. A lot of total strangers showed up that night. One guy even called the next day to thank us for inviting him.


For me the highlight was when the Accordian Player showed up to serenade the party with love songs. He'd been hired as a singing telegram and since the recipeint was at the party, he was redirected to our apartment.
I don't remember many of the details after that, but I know the party was a success. It became a tradition and for the next few years. While I had roommates, we had a Halloween Party to celebrate Valentines Day.
(This was one held at the Old Mill and hosted by Anna, Michelle and I. We invited the pizza delivery guy and he came back and joined us after getting off work.)


I have to admit, I do miss those Halloween parties but I'm pretty happy with the upgrade. I love having a perma-Valentine. Afterall, I got delicious French Toast in bed this morning (with vanilla ice cream, syrup, strawberries, apple sauce and spray whip all in little custard cups on the side.)

Tonight for dinner it'll be my turn to cook and I'm going to make Four Cheese Pasta, French Bread, and something gooey and chocolatey for dessert. But of course, not everyone has a significant other to help them celebrate the holiday of all things heart shaped. If that's the case, I highly recommend you consider Halloween as an alternative. Because after chocolate truffles, the next best treat in the world is Candy Corn!


Happy Holidays!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Guess where I got to go for my 30 birthday??? I'll give you 3 hints:

That's right, this year I celebrated my birthday with a week long trip to Disney World accompanined by 3 out of 4 of my siblings and all their kids!!!

"Wow!" you say, "They go on a lot of trips!"

"We live life to the fullest!" I say, "And with the maximum amount of student loans!"

Alright, so we actually didn't go to D-world just for my birthday. We ACTUALLY went for the D.S. Call Don't-Call-Me-A-Call-Girl Annual (Sometimes semi-annual or every-other-annual) Family Reunion!

And it just happened to coincide with my 30th birthday.

I believe the reasoning went something like this:

Older (Allegedly Wiser) Siblings: "It's the off-season! It won't be crowded at all!!!"

The reality was more like this:

Naysaying Sister: "It's the week of Mardi Gras and Carnival! All of Louisiana and Brazil are here this week!"

But despite the crowds, it was a great week, filled with sunshine, family, and FUN visiting the various Disney attractions.

And it really is a great place to celebrate a birthday. I got to wear a birthday button so all the employees wished me happy birthday all day long. I even got two free treats! (One Frozen Lemonade and one Mickey Supreme!)

And I'm actually happy to be 30. Don't get me wrong, I had a great 29th year, but there's nothing all that special about being in your late 20's. Thirty on the other hand...thirty is SOMETHING! (I'm not sure what yet, but I'll let you know.)

So that's the story of how my whole family flew to Orlando to celebrate the start of my fourth decade on earth. And why I've been MIA for awhile. And how to properly celebrate a significant birthday. And how to get free ice cream on a stick.

I think we've all learned something here today.

I know I have.

C-you real soon!

Quick Thought

The other day when I was thinking about President Hinckley I pictured him when seeing Heavenly Father for the first time and saying with a twinkle in his eye "Is this because I re-used my last talk?"

Goodbye President Hinckley!

So sorry to hear this news this morning!

We love you President Hinckley! You'll be missed!!!

People Magazine Edition

Last night Doug said, (while looking at the computer)

D: "Do you know who Heath Ledger is?"

Me: "Uh...no. Not really. Is he maybe an actor?"

D: "Yeah. I guess so. He died."

Me: "Really?"

D: "He was 28."

Me: "That's YOUNG! How did he die?"

D: "Dunno. Doesn't say."

So this morning I see an article about him on my iGoogle. I click on it to see if I know who he is but don't recognize the picture nor have I seen any of his recent movies. So I click on a slideshow to see what else he's been in.

That's when I see this picture from "Ten Things I Hate About You" circa 1999:

And now I'm genuinely sad because I LOVE(d) this movie! Did anyone else love this movie?!?

(I'm not asking you, Kristen and Shawn!)

I may or may not even own this movie in VHS form.

I was going to leave you with a funny line from the movie, but when I went to look up some quotes I found that most of them are completely inappropriate. This is as good as it gets:

(Heath Ledger) Patrick: Hey there girly... how you doin'?

(Julia Stiles) Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself?

Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh?

Kat Stratford: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked... the world makes sense again.

You'll be missed Mr. Ledger!

This Is A Public Service Announcement...

I've been thinking a lot about Blog Security lately. When I first created my blog, I followed my SIL's lead and kept my last name private. (Hence, Emily Dub instead of Emilina Destina Willberforce which is my real name). I've also never mentioned the specific city in which we live, (Springfield) my husbands exact place of employment, (Hasbro) and definitely not the name of my boy's school's. (Martin Luther King Prep.)

Hopefully these measures make it difficult for someone to flip open the white pages and find our address and or show up at my kid's schools and steal them. (Oh, and we're not listed in the white pages.)

BUT, according to some bloggers I'm not doing enough! They say I shouldn't use my kids names, show their pictures, or ever mention their birthdays or any details about their lives. And in some ways, it makes sense. What better way to stalk little kids then from the privacy of your own home on your own computer. (Sorry to be creepy.)

So am I really not doing enough? Am I putting my kids in jeopardy? After all, I can't control whether or not anyone else spills my last name. And I don't know everything there is to know about the Internet and whether or not it's possible to find me via my IP address.

I DO know that Jack Bauer could pinpoint my exact location in under a minute with the help of Chloe and a few clicks of the mouse. So what about a crazy computer geek with ill intentions? (You know who you are!)

I have Google Analytics installed and with it I can tell how many hits my blog gets, and the general location the hit is coming from. (Maybe I could tell more if I new anything about computers.) This tells me most people reading this are in Rhode Island, Utah, and Southern California. Which is totally acceptable since I know lots of people in all these places. What I don't know is who is reading this in Russia, Australia, Brazil, and France. Or why they're reading it?!? (I'm assuming it's because I'm so darn deep and insightful.)

Are you a crazy stalker planning to steal my kids? (If so, please tell me all about it including your address and phone number.)

I, for one, have one more line of defense. I'm leaving the country and taking my adorable children with me. We'll be in South Africa for the next few years if you need to find us!

Anyway, just wondering what all of you think about this topic? What steps have you taken to insure your Internet safety? Please share!

I promise not to stalk you!

Snow Daze

Around here, when it snows, the state pretty much shuts down. (Except for, unfortunately, where Doug works!) For example, this past Monday school was cancelled* state wide because of a (pretty pathetic) snow storm.

In Utah, on the other hand, school is rarely cancelled. While we were there over the holidays, there were numerous snow storms and life went on as usual. There, people have learned to handle the snow. But not just handle it, subdue it and embrace it.

And here's the proof:

Yep. That's Thomas. Sculpted out of snow and spray painted. This picture was taken in Springville, Utah by my Sister-in-law Christina. (There are, I believe, two more sculpture pictures on Christina's new blog.) Evidently, the guy responsible for this creates these snow masterpieces frequently and continuously all winter long. Here's one I got to see when I was there:
Notice the mailbox eye.

See, this guy obviously isn't afraid of a little snow. Or even a lot of snow in the form of 5 foot tall plowed snow banks.

Take note Little Rhody: Man is meant to be master of snow! Not the other way around!!!

...now bring on SPRING!


*Monday is my shopping day and I don't appreciate having my schedule disrupted! I just can't handle taking three boys shopping so I have to do it while one is in school. No school, no shopping. No shopping, no groceries, no groceries, no nightly dinners, which means no leftovers, which means no lunch for Doug, which means he buys lunch everyday, which means we're spending too much, which means more loans, which means an extra five years to get out of debt. See why this is a problem?

We'll call this one "Peed Upon"

After dinner tonight Sam said to Doug,

"I feo in da toiyet today."

Which reminded me of the story of when Sam fell in the toilet. Which happened earlier today.

(In Adrian Monk's voice)
"Here's what happened;"

All was peaceful in the Dub household. Six-year-old Max was playing happily in the family room. Mom and Sam were in the bathroom giving the baby a bath. Sam sat on the toilet seat supervising while Mom perched on the edge of the tub.

After a few minutes, Sam stood up and reached into the tub to grab a toy. At the same moment, Max came rushing into the room, threw the toilet seat up, and proceeded to (to put it bluntly) pee.

And then time seemed to slow...
You may see where I'm going with this...

Sam, with eyes still on the bathtub, stepped back to sit again. Only the toilet seat and lid were no longer down! They were both up!

So he fell right in.

And was peed upon by a bewildered Max.

It was all very dramatic. There were shouts from Max and tears from Sam. Sam was immediately stripped and plopped into the tub while I mopped up the mess.

I think the moral here is, "Always look before you sit down." Either that or "Pee with caution". Whichever works for you.
Either way, a good time was had by all.
(No, it wasn't.)
Gotta go. I have laundry to do.

Dear Man-With-The-Yellow-Hat,

Please quit leaving George unattended with instructions to "Be a good little monkey!". IT DOESN'T WORK! Haven't you learned that he always gets into mischief. He's never going to change! You're just going to have to stop trying to accomplish things during the day!!! (Oh, and no showering either.)

Good luck,

Sympathetic and Smelly in R.I.

We're BAAaaaaaaAHck!

Well, we're finally home from our marathon Christmas/Wedding/New Year's vacation to Utah/San Diego/Utah. And I think I can honestly say it was a fun/exhausting/exciting/relaxing/frustrating/satisfying trip.

(I don't want to be tied down to one emotion.)

In the past 2.5 weeks, my kids have gotten to see every single Aunt, Uncle, and cousin they have with only one exception--my sister Jenny who lives in Virginia and couldn't make it to the San Diego wedding.

We've also...

Lost one 6-year-old boy's brand-new winter coat,
gained numerous Christmas presents and pounds,
driven over 1500 miles,
flown for two days,
consumed 10,000 unhealthy treats,
cooked 2 delicious meals,
eaten-out about 100 times,
played with exactly 29 different cousins, 8 aunts and 8 uncles,
learned to say "chillax!",
suffered through a few colds,
slipped on much ice and slogged through much snow,
stared longingly at the beautiful, happy, Pacific ocean,
saw old friends,
met new people,
lost sleep,
slept in,
and generally had fun.

Boy, it's good to be home!

See more pictures at Doug's Blog!

Trips Within Trips

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Utah holiday vacation to bring you...(*DRUMROLL*)

FAE & JOHN'S WONDERFUL WEDDING!!!  ***

...and too few hours of blissful, warm, redolent, fabulous, euphoric, happy, (did I say 'beautiful'?) hours of San Diego sunshine and warmth.

And now back to the snow.

***Beautiful photo courtesy of (my genius cousin) Wendy of Blue Lily Photography

Know Your Religion

Recently Elder Ballard gave a talk encouraging listeners to use new media, including blogs, to have religious discussions. Now, generally I avoid topics I can't mock ruthlessly, but I'm an extremely obedient and curious girl. So here goes...

Here's what I want to know:

• If you are reading this, and you are not a Mormon, what is your religious affiliation?
• What is one thing you want Mormon's to know about your religion?
• What is one thing you want to know about Mormons or Mormonism?
• Who sent you the funniest Christmas Card this year?
• Do you know who Mitt Romney is?
• Mormon readers: what religions are you curious about and what questions do you have?
• Does anyone else really REALLY want "The Clapper" for Christmas?

Let's recap: Me=obedient and curious. You=cooperative and comment-prone.

Now, twalk amongst yourselves! (And then leave a comment.)

Woah Snow and Other Matters

*Rhode Island is a small state. And evidently, they have a small amount of snow removal equipment. Because when it snows here, the state pretty much shuts down. Thus, church yesterday was cancelled because of a paltry (at least by Utah standards) amount of snow. Not that I'm complaining or anything! It was awesome.

We decided that it would be okay to play in the snow on the Sabbath as long as we communed with nature and appreciated the beauty of the earth while we were at it. So the boys (reverently) built an awesome sled run down our hill, and then after dark built an igloo on the back deck. I mostly stayed inside with Babe though D did get me out on the sled for a few runs. (It was pretty awesome. And spiritual.) Go to Doug's blog to see a movie and pictures.

*Dear Friends and Family,
Some of you have the extremely smart and thrifty idea of posting your Christmas letter and picture on your blog. That's fabulous! Now, if you could just print both of those out, put them in an envelope and mail them to me, that would be great. I really really like getting Christmas cards in the mail. It's pretty much my favorite thing about December. That's not going to be a problem for you, right?

*Many of you know that I'm somewhat addicted to Hot Chocolate. In San Francisco, there were LOTS of cold, foggy mornings to break out the Spray Whip and tea kettle. And lots of friends nearby to partake with. Here...not so much. So, whereas before I was a social drinker, now I'm a closet drinker. But I'm fine with it. Don't judge me.

Anyway, my favorite "basic" hot chocolate is "Stephen's" brand. I used to buy it in bulk at Costco whenever I was in Utah. (It's a product of Utah.) I could find it in California, but it wasn't common and it was very expensive. Of course, I had no expectation or hope of finding it here in RI, so last time my mom came to visit she had to pack a #10 can for me.

But then...a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! I was in Sam's Club the other day, (I hate it, but the nearest Costco is in Massachusetts) and what to my wondering eyes did a appear?
A box (of 28 single serving packets) of Stephen's Peppermint Candy Cane Hot Chocolate!
I couldn't believe it! I grabbed a box and raced home with my treasure. When Doug saw it, he was about to protest my splurge until he saw that it was Stephen's. We made some immediately. And guess what. It is SO GOOD! SO GOOD! In my opinion, it's even better than Starbucks Peppermint Hot Chocolate because it's a little bit sweeter.

Conclusion: It's good. Really good. If you ever see it in the store, BUY IT!
(Yes STEPHEN'S, you can send me some free product now!)

*Merry Christmas!

6 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me

I hope you're happy Jen Ross!

#6 When I was twelve years old I found a stock broker in the Yellow Pages and bought a few shares of Disney Stock with my babysitting money. I still have them. And until a few years ago I still had the stock broker. I miss you Bonnie.

#5 Every single year I ask for a Chia Pet and "The Clapper" for Christmas. And I never get either one. But one year (around age 11) I did get a Dust Buster.

#4 I was engaged to someone else before Doug. We broke up on Christmas day.

#3 Based on the number of unexcused absenses I had my senior year, I should not have graduated.
#3a. I graduated because teachers always liked me.

#2 I secretly want a puppy even though I unsecretly hate dogs.
#2a. Doug and I had a pet snake that got cooked to death over Christmas vacation because of a faulty thermostat. (Our apartment did NOT smell good when we got home.)

#1 I can't "tag" people to do blog meme's because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by leaving them out.
#1a. Once my friends and I wanted to toilet paper a whole block of houses so we wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. But the cops caught us before we even started.
#1b. I still feel bad for every time I was ever mean to anyone ever in my entire life.
#1bi. I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you or ever hurt your feelings. I'M SORRY!!!

Tag. You're all "it".

1st Attempt at Candy Making

*Note to self: Warm carmel fuses to wax paper and can NOT be removed.

Happy Birthday Max!

Six of my favorite things about Maxwell:

1. He has a fabulous smile and an awesome giggle.
2. He's a great big brother to Gabe (always) and Sam (sometimes).
3. He's got great pirate moves.
4. He loves books, being read to, and is learning to read.

5. He's smart, curious, and helpful.
6. He says things like "I can carry that Mommers 'cause I'm stronger than lightning!"
6a. He calls me Mommers.

Happy Birthday Maxwell-Boy! We love you!!!

***For Maxwell's Cake this year, I found a Texas Sheet Cake recipe on AllRecipes.com. It was so good and easy to make, I'm putting it on my recipe blog!