Dear Emily Matchar,

Dear Emily Matchar,

Let's just get one thing straight: Mormon Mommy Blogs and Mormons in general are really super-duper cool.  You are right to love and admire us via your addiction to Mormon Mommy Blogs.

BUT, (and I know this may blow your bloggity mind) we are not all the same.  And our blogs are not all the same.

You need to add a few more "Mormon Mommies" to your Reader to get a more well-balanced view of Mormon's.

I suggest you start with mine!

It will prove that not all Mormon's take professional quality pictures, buy vintage baby clothes, whip up adorable crafts daily and have husbands who wear plaid.  (My husband wears BDU's and scrubs alternately.)

Some Mormon babies have snotty noses!  YIKES!

(However, it MAY confirm that all Mormon's DO love Costco and Target.  But really, can you blame us?) 

Also, many of our women are "overeducated" (just not me) and some of us can't cook. (Sort of me.)  I could go on and on contradicting most of your points but I wont.  Suffice it to say, we're not all alike, we're not all perfect, and we're not all happy automatons.  BUT, we are pretty dang awesome in general and our religion has a lot to do with that.

Just wanted to get that out.

Sincerely,


Emily Dub

P.S.  Quit being such a huge WUSS and invite the missionaries in for Hot Chocolate.  They wont bite you and they'll clear up many of the mis-conceptions you have about our religion.  (And I promise they wont force you into the nearest baptismal font...as long as you don't get too close.)

P.P.S.  If you are NOT Emily Matchar and have no idea what I'm talking about, see this article.

Dear NieNie...

Dear NieNie,

I just thought you should know that YOU are my new nemesis. Yes, you. The last time I had a nemesis, I was in San Francisco. Her name was (is) Christine and she lived one floor down. Everyday when I walked down the stairs, I could see the corner of her kitchen table through the window: And everyday, it looked just like a Pottery Barn spread. Place mats, beautiful dishes and silverware, and fresh flowers. Fresh flowers EVERY DAY!!! And despite the fact that she also had a child, she had a house plant on the floor and candles adorning the window ledge. (Two things Max would NEVER have left unmolested as a toddler.)

But now, NieNie, you have taken her place as my nemesis. Someone I've never even met. Someone I know only through the blogosphere. I know it's not fair to you, but I can't help it. It's just how I feel!

Maybe it's the fact that you have an extremely popular blog with a cute layout and a covetously cute vintage-looking wardrobe. Maybe it's how your children always look so...calm and well behaved in your pictures! Or maybe it was the art project you recently did with your kids.

(I mean, I've known how to use potatoes and apples as stamps for YEARS. I have the skills needed for that project! But do I want let my kids near that much open acrylic paint? Not in this lifetime!)

I know for SURE that it's partly because you refer to your husband as "Mr Nielson" and mostly because you've seen my cousin (MY COUSIN) more recently than I have!!! And now she's going to Arizona in a few months and NOT Japan and you'll get to see her again!

HMPHF!

THAT is why you're my nemesis.

Love,

Emily

P.S. Wendy: You're also my nemesis, unless you make immediate plans to do a "session" in Japan.

Boy, it feels good to get that off my chest!