Older Sibling Blues

3.5 weeks later:

Tonight I am upset, (at the big boys)
overwhelmed, (by the noise and messy house)
physically exhausted (bone-weary),
   sad,
fighting off baby blues...

...and then I bury my face in his neck, and smell his perfect smell, and feel his silky smooth skin and wonder how I got lucky enough to be holding a tiny new person in my arms...

...and it's all worth it.

The miserable pregnancy.

The painful delivery.

All of it.

Of course, all that other stuff is still there today--but for a second, none of it matters.  Just him and the perfect folds in his neck.

I love you Baby Lincoln!  

I'm glad you're finally here!!

(Turns out, I was having similar feelings after the arrival of baby Gray and wrote about it here.  I'm actually doing much better this time and give the weather 95% of the credit.)

What's In A [5th] Name?

So I push the baby out and now comes the hard part:  Picking a name.
Each morning we were in the hospital, the birth certificate lady would come in to ask if we'd filled out the paperwork.  Each morning, we'd send her away.
 (And turn off "Castle" and start thinking about names again.)

What's my name?!?

This was NOT an easy process.  We've used up EIGHT names already.  Four first names picked because we like 'em, and four middle names picked because we like 'em and they're family names.

Maxwell Douglas (Maxwell after Neal A. Maxwell and 'cause I like it.  Douglas after his Daddy)
Samuel James (James after Doug's dad and James Clark)
Gabriel David (David after Doug's brother)
Grayson Brandon (Brandon after my brother)

For boy name number five, I was mostly looking for a name that can be shortened (i.e. Max, Sam, Gabe, and Gray) and a name that sounds good with Grayson.  Possibly a name ending with "n".  Also, can't be made up and can't be the number one most popular name in the country.

That's how Lincoln came to be on the list.  Can be shortened to Linc, and ends with same sound as Grayson without being too similar.  (Like Jason.  Sam was REALLY pushing for Jason.)

And this is what we eventually ended up naming him:  Lincoln.

(Much to the dismay of my friend Ginger and sister Laura--neither of whom are fans of the name.  Which is why you never tell people your names until they're officially on a birth certificate!  I'm still laughing at the text I got from Ginger saying "Fine, but I'm going to call him DINKon!")

There were other names on the list, we just couldn't agree on any of them!

Cannon  (unfortunately, "Can" doesn't really stand alone.)
Dallin (Evidently the name of a dumb kid Doug knew in high school.  Plus, it's a nephew name.)
Jacob (Another nephew name.)
and the other two top contenders...
I was really liking Benjamin, but we already have a nephew named Benjamin and evidently it's complete insanity to think of a repeat in the same family!  Never mind they'd be 10 years apart and will probably always live in different states.  Regardless, Doug took Benny-Boy out of the running.

or...
William.  Very frequently repeated throughout Doug's lineage.  BUT, add our last name, and that was just a bit too much alliteration for me.  His name would sound too much like "William Wallace" and I'd have Mel Gibson's Scottish accent in my head for the rest of my life.  Plus, I can't have a Willy or a Billy.  I took William off the list.

At the last possible minute before leaving the hospital, we filled out the paperwork.

Heading home!

We named him (after much angst and deliberation) Lincoln Wesley.  Lincoln, because we like it.  (Or maybe because neither of us hated it?) And 'cause it sounds good with Grayson.  Wesley after two of Doug's very best friends:  One a friend from Japan, one our next door neighbor here.  And 'cause we like it.  (And 'cause a little alliteration is a good thing...!)

We're still not sure if Lincoln is the right name for him.  It's so...grown-up.  Mostly, we still call him Baby.  But at least he has a name.  And we were finally able to finish watching Season 5 of Castle.  So, you know...there's that.

We love you Baby Linc/Lincoln/Linney/LincLinc/LinkyLoo
 (Someone please tell me what to call him!)

P.S.  Thought I should record this somewhere:
Since Max is named after Neal A. Maxwell, he really wanted us to name the baby him Neal.
Sam was hoping for Jason or Ron Weasley.
Gabe wanted Joseph after Joseph Smith.
and Gray wanted Baby Brother.  Which is what he still calls him--Bay-ee Bud-ah.  And what we call him half the time.
I guess Gray wins!

How It All Went Down OR The Arrival of Baby

When I gave birth to Maxwell, almost 12 years ago, my mom was in the room nervously pacing and taking copious notes on every, single, little detail--human, medical, or otherwise.  Doug has since tried to fill her shoes by jotting some notes throughout my subsequent labors/deliveries.  It's a good thing, 'cause once the baby is here a lot of what happened is a big blur.  My sister Laura also added to the list.

[My mom used to admonish my siblings and I to write in our journal's by saying "If you don't write it down, it didn't happen!"  I had forgotten all about that until about ten seconds ago.  It's 2 a.m. and I've just been woken by a squeaky baby wanting to nurse.]

Notes from Doug's Phone...
With a *few* additions from me...

(For the record:  I was supposed to get the Cervadil around 5p.m. Wednesday Sept. 24.  Have that all night.  Get Pitocin in the morning.  Have that all day.  Be delivered by my Dr. sometime Thursday afternoon or evening.) 

Wednesday Sept 25, 2013
5:00 pm checked in for induction
5:03 Em's sense of humor is determined to be missing  (Doug was joking with (at) a nurse who was staring at him blankly.  I was so tense worrying I'd be sent home, I almost punched him.)
5:08 brought to room to begin.
Nurse Danielle
3 new IV tries  (They put the IV into my hand and it was digging into a bone.  Since I knew I'd have it for a few days, I made them take it out and do it again. A few collapsed veins later...)

Giving birth in a gown someone died in yesterday.
Much happier now that I know I get to STAY!

8:00 Swirls brought by Jeff and Laura. Emmy downs a peanut butter/chocolate frozen yogurt with plentiful Reese's peanut butter cups on top.  (No judgement!)
9:20 Moved to new room.  
9:30 Finally gets Cervidel.  (After only 4.5 hours of waiting!!!)
9:45 Jeff and Laura leave so Doug and Emmy can watch an episode of "Castle" and get a good night's sleep! Ha ha.
10:00 contractions coming 4 min apart  (Yep, it started working super duper fast.)
10:30 3 min apart and she asks for epidural
10:37 "why is their pain behind my knees?!"  (Well?  Why?!?)
10:45 50% effaced and 3 centimeters dilated. Things are moving fast. She's in pain and wants an epidural now!!
They are coming fast and not much time in between.
10:45 (Laura) after being home for twenty minutes drove like a bat out of Hades to get back when Em texted me that contractions were 2-3 minutes apart.
11:00 Anesthesiologist is finally here!! Hooray!
11:02 Emily moaning. Sounds just like her mama. (Evidently, just like my mom sounded when she was dying.  A little morbid Laura!)  They are giving the epidural so hopefully she'll be out of pain soon. She's telling anesthesiologist that she has a low pain threshold! In other words, hurry up!!!!
11:10 still working on epidural. (It took a long freaking time and a lot of "pressure" and multiple pokes!  Sorta hard to "hold completely still" when the contractions are coming right on top of each other with no break in between.  And did I mention my VERY LOW PAIN THRESHOLD!?!?!?!)  
Ashlin went to sleep at W's so Doug's mom (Susan) could come to the hospital. She should be here soon.
11:15 pain is lessening already. Yay!  
12:00  Doug and Emily fall fitfully asleep for a few hours.  Laura and Susan wait and pace and freeze in the icy cold room.
315 water breaking?
332 dilated to 9
405 cervix is gone (never did like that cervix!)
Doctor is stuck in OR--says not to push
425 doctor coming  (I think he came and checked on me and then left again.)
429 started pushing
At this point I should mention, every single time a new nurse or Dr. came in, they asked if I had any concerns.  I answered (over and over) "Yes, I'm concerned the cord will be around his neck.  It's happened three times before."  Each time I was reassured that a) someone would check...later or b) they'd be able to tell as things progressed.
As things progressed, I pushed and pushed and pushed.  His little head would come down, and then go back up.  I said, "THE CORD IS PROBABLY AROUND HIS NECK!"  (for the 87th time.)
Around 5:55 a.m., I (FINALLY) pushed his head out.  The Dr. had not yet arrived.  The cord was so tight around his little neck, it had to be cut off.  (As opposed to just unwrapped like on Max, Sam, and Gray.)  I'm told to STOP pushing and wait for the Dr.

6:00 a.m.  The resident Dr. rushes in (not my Dr.) and I push the rest of the baby out.  He is limp and blueish-purple.
Initial Apgar is very low.  2 or 3.  Five minute Apgar is also low but a little better.  Maybe 4?  Laura and Susan are freaking out but trying to stay calm.  Doug and I...well, we're pretty used to it by now.  By 15 minutes he's doing well.  Still a little labored breathing, but color is much better.  Definitely looks beat up with blood shot eyes and lots of bruising on his tiny face.  BUT, otherwise healthy and doing well.  They finally bring him back to me to hold.  He's finally here!!!

Official stats:
8 pounds 12.6 ounces
21.75 inches

Little Bruiser

He started out the color of my nails.  Looking much better at this point a few hours later.
Also, not fond of this nail polish color anymore!