Something is Falling Apart--And It's Probably Me.

I couldn't fall asleep last night.
It happened the night before too.
It was late, I climbed in bed, kissed Doug three times, closed my eyes and....
nothing.

Actually, not nothing.  A lot of annoying somethings.  My hair was bothering my neck.  The sheets were pestering my arms and legs.  My body pillow was trying to melt my skin with its heat, but the room was too cold to take the comforter off.
I couldn't stop scratching.  I couldn't get comfortable.  Couldn't stop THINKING.
What was the problem?  I was wearing my cozy socks.  (check)  No jammies... (check--they just get tangled up.)  It was earlier than normal, but not like it was 9pm. (10:30)

Yet my bones seemed to be trying to dig through my mattress.
Doug started falling asleep but my wriggling woke him up.
Him:  "Are you going to stop scratching soon?"
(Not very sympathetic to my plight.)
Me:  "WHY is our bed so uncomfortable?!?!?"

This has been my complaint of late.  I used to love our bed.
I used to love climbing into our bed at the end of a long day.
(I used to love rolling over and staying in my bed at the beginning of a long day.)
Now my bed is failing me!  Can beds just suddenly one day in Janurary decide to STOP WORKING?

I suppose it's done all it could.  It's at least 9 years old and been moved from San Francisco to Rhode Island to Japan to San Diego.  Plus it was nothing special to begin with.  A regular Queen size mattress from Costco.  But we also added a layer of padding with a queen size memory foam topper.  THAT made all the difference.  Made it so the bed cradled you and rocked you to sleep every night.

But now...

It may as well be Japanese Hotel room bed:  Rock hard with a 90 pound pillow lined with pinto beans.
(The only possible way to sleep in a Japanese hotel room--if you're a soft American--is to find the less beany side of the pillow and sleep flat on your back without moving.  Consider it part of your Ninja training--then it's not so bad.)

So I lay in bed unhappily pondering:  Is it the bed or is it me?  Am I falling apart or is the bed?
Sleeping used to be championship talent!  I've won Olympic medals for my ability to climb into bed and fall immediately asleep and sleep through anything.  (Things I've slept through:  Labor.  5 point earthquakes.  Numerous episodes of screaming children drama.  Alarms of all kinds. And breakfast.  (Okay, and lunch).)

But then again I'M almost 34 years old!  I've moved from Utah to California to Utah to California to Utah to California to Rhode Island to Japan to California!  And I was nothing special to begin with...  Just a regular skinny Mormon girl averse to exercise.  Now after a very stressful year, I've added a layer of padding--but it hasn't increased my comfort or value.
(Please quit asking if I'm pregnant.  I'M JUST GAINING WEIGHT!!!)

(Please stand-by for existential crisis:)

Wait, if I'm not skinny and I can't sleep anymore...plus, my blog hasn't even been funny lately......!!!
WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME???  WHO AM I?!?!?!?!  WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?

(please stand-by for self-preserving narcissism:)

Neh, it can't be my fault.  The weight will magically fall off and we just need a new bed!  Plus, YOU'RE not funny anymore.

I feel so much better now.

See you tomorrow!