Jul 30, 2008

Duh nuh! Duh nuh! Duh nuh, duh nuh, duh nuh...

As I sit here at the computer the slightly uncomfortable tingling on the back of my sunburned thighs reminds me of our trip to the beach a few days ago. The day I came face to face with death and laughed in his ugly face.


Allow me to set the stage:
It was another idyllic day in Destin. The water was warm, the sand white, and the waters of the emerald coast were, well...emerald!

The Chefs* and the Dubs** had bravely ventured to the beach despite adults being outnumbered by children 2 to 1.

The children were frolicking happily in the sand and Gabe and I were in knee-deep water cooling off and gazing out at the horizon.

I must have felt the stares, because something (finally) caused me to turn towards shore. Which is when I saw a large crowd gathered on the beach staring at me! "They must have heard of my blog!" I thought to myself. "Either that, or I look hotter than usual in this tankini!" (Actually, I thought: "Crap! There must have been dolphins out there and I missed them AGAIN!")

Then I realized a few things simultaneously. There were only five people left in the water, Gabe and I, two other swimmers, and a life guard. And the life guard was pointing and saying something...
about a shark.

Turns out, a shark was swimming close to shore and the life guard was getting everyone out of the water. Except Gabe and I who were/are, evidently, fearless. (read: clueless)

Unfortunately, although everyone else saw the shark, I didn't.

Fortunately, I have proof of my bravery! Joe was on the shore alternately yelling at me to "GET OUT" and snapping pictures. Which is why I have pictorial evidence of my brush with Jaws!(read: cluelessness).

Unfortunately, no matter how big I blow up the picture, it still just looks like a tiny black shadow. But nonetheless, the fact remains that I battled nature and WON!

Except that nature fried the crap out of my formerly pasty white legs.

So lets just call it a draw.




*This is a clever play on their real last name, and you'd be laughing at my cleverness if you knew what that was.

**This stands for "W" which is the first letter of Wilberforce which is my last name.

10 comments:

  1. And Shark Week is coming right up on Discovery.

    How fitting!

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  2. That is quite scary. Glad you made it out alive.

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  3. This was my favorite post of all time!!!

    It has drama, intrigue, a heroine (that would be the shark for eradicating the world of ugly blow up yellow floating nonsense)

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  4. You are fearless. And a great writer. You know, that same thing happened to me a few years back... totally cool!!!

    Glad you didn't get bitten!=D

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  5. Whoo-- so glad you are safe!:)

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  6. Emily, I suspect that your lucky that your kids have lasted longer than the snakes I left in your care. Feeding them to sharks? Nice touch.

    Doug, I am terribly disappointed in your photojournalism (or lack thereof). Looks like a floating log or garbage bag. I'm not buying the shark thing until I see irrefutable proof.

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  7. Buba: Not DOUG, JOE! Doug's replacement!

    We JUST brought Doug home from COT today...so he wasn't even there. As for your slanderous comment, Joe has no comment.

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  8. Dear Mrs. Wilberforce, you should get out of the water.

    Love,
    Your Lifeguard

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  9. so so glad you didn't get eaten. i can totally tell that black spot is a shark.

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  10. Doug, your wife is freakin' hilarious! Love it!

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