Prego Musings

It ain't pretty...it's my body.

Things I wont miss about being 8 months pregnant

• Hair LOSS on my head, hair GROWTH on my face and stomach. (Some good waxing will be in order shortly after I give birth.)
  
• Linea Negra (As if my stomach hasn't suffered enough with the ignominious belly-button.)
  
• Not being able to lean over or bend down without extreme discomfort and lots of grunting.
  
• The feeling of suffocating every time I lay down at night.
  
• Acid reflux every time I lay down at night.
  
• Once in bed at night; not being able to roll over, not being able to sleep in any 'ol position, not being able to sit up, and not being able to sleep through the night due to frequent potty breaks.
  
• Pea-sized bladder that always feels full.
  
• Pea-sized bladder with fluid retention issues.
  
• Spider veins blossoming/exploding across my legs.
  (Some women get horrible varicose veins which are even worse.)
• Needing at least 45 minutes to shave my legs.
  
• Stretch marks.
• Freaky belly-button.
  
• Skin discoloration in the form of random brown spots on my stomach.
  
• Hot flashes. (I've actually had to sleep WITHOUT socks for the last week!)
  
• Extreme sensitivity to smells. I can smell garlic from the next county. (Diaper changing was no fun either.)
  
• Tiny flashes of light always in my peripheral vision. (Someone told me it's an optical migraine?)
  
• Really needing a pedicure but not being able to reach my feet.
  
• Having to rely on my 5-year-old to put my socks on for me. (sometimes he just doesn't WANT to!)
  
• Sudden food cravings that seem to be a matter of life or death.
  
• A voracious appetite that has not only caused exponetial weight gain, but severe g.i. issues as well.
• Being kicked so much that my stomach is actually bruised...on the inside.
  
• Thick ankles.
  
• Not being able to walk through a doorway with a laundry basket.
  
• Serious mental illness in the form of memory loss. (Like not being able to remember if I've already conditioned my hair in the shower...)
• Contractions that feel like there's an elephant sitting on my stomach.

I could go on, but the list gets pretty graphic from here on out. Let's just say I can't wait to meet this little guy, and sooner would be preferable to later!

I have to go now because preschool starts in an hour and a half and I need to start the process of getting my socks and shoes on. Wish me luck.